| Re: Niggers Don't Write Poetry by pain killer |
zodiac 65.161.41.48 |
23-Jun-04/4:26 AM |
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You're the most middling load of bollocks ever.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
arduinn 165.21.83.247 |
23-Jun-04/6:22 AM |
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i get the picture.. good job...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
arduinn 165.21.83.247 |
23-Jun-04/6:52 AM |
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dun like the title.. but the poem itself is good...
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| Re: Insurance Frauds by skaskowski |
god'swife 209.178.153.39 |
23-Jun-04/1:00 PM |
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meandering. the first stanza is so difficult to understand, it makes the rest pointless. The last couplet is sort of the cherry on the cake of incomprehensiveness. How you got where exactly?
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| Re: Heroin by zenhaircut |
god'swife 209.178.153.39 |
23-Jun-04/1:23 PM |
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what are '...habit fingernails'? Does this mean there bitten? Or you've been injecting under them? I think if you left out that line, and just left the first two, it would be more haunting an intro.
what have calendar blots to do with Mecca or skirmished hopes, your not showing enough. I like the next part and the stanza that follows. I also like your use of simile 'cynics...like needles' for example.
Considering you've used over 100 words, don't you thiink the last line is out of place? Even if you don't it's flat and boring.
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| Re: Skuld Resurrected by SupremeDreamer |
god'swife 209.178.153.39 |
23-Jun-04/1:49 PM |
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what's the name of the muse for poetry? Is it Caliope? No, I think she's music. Oh and stop saying 'it'.
Anyway you could call it
(POETRY MUSE'S NAME) Resurrected
Works better if you personify poetry with either a 'he' or a 'she'.
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| Re: I care 4 you by jessicasgurl |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
23-Jun-04/7:19 AM |
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Well done for breaking every cardinal rule which is held sacred on poemranker.
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| Re: The Riddle of Creation by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.74 |
23-Jun-04/7:22 AM |
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Perfect for "Seventh Day Adventist's Monthly." Not my pint of ale. Why do we capitalize the word god? It can't be a name. Isn't it an occupation? It is a little like capitalizing the word mechanic or poet. I'll stick to capitalizing only the name of god, Guinness, Jose Cuervo and the like. I know, hate the subject not the poem. -9-
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| Re: I care 4 you by jessicasgurl |
jessicasgurl 24.118.251.83 |
22-Jun-04/6:42 PM |
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go read the one i care 4 you and it is alot better than my other one srry if some of you are haters on my work but whateva i have ppl who like so idk what the haters think but yall go read my other poem "I CARE 4 YOU" and rate it plz holla imma fixin to bounce so PE@CE OUT
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
jessicasgurl 24.118.251.83 |
22-Jun-04/6:48 PM |
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hey this is really good poem i think you should keep up the good work ur an awsome writer keep it up
holla bac
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| Re: TEENAGERS LIFE by jessicasgurl |
jessicasgurl 24.118.251.83 |
22-Jun-04/6:55 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
22-Jun-04/7:42 PM |
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Its got your usual good flow, steady hand. Not crazy about the "it" with "cannot" (toss it) or the word "Huge" - lumbering takes care of that and if not, maybe a better word would.
bleeding a bit from small words, but still - fine enough.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
MacFrantic 198.81.26.16 |
22-Jun-04/9:25 PM |
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Winnie the Pooh would be very angry with you...
*9*
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
MacFrantic 198.81.26.16 |
22-Jun-04/9:29 PM |
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Not necessarily my cup of specially brewed herbs and spices, but I especially liked S2 L9 and 10 *7*
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
22-Jun-04/10:00 PM |
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If you leave out the first verse - a cattish fantasy. With the first verse, I'm tossed from pervert to cannibal to tiger.
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| Re: Best Boy by MacFrantic |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
22-Jun-04/10:04 PM |
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First verse is great. Might consider ending with it. I can definitely relate to this.
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| Re: Puppet & Conversation by Blindpoetry |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
22-Jun-04/10:11 PM |
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Who cares what God , the puppeteer, thinks. But then, I could be wrong.
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| Re: The Riddle of Creation by Dovina |
MacFrantic 198.81.26.16 |
22-Jun-04/11:01 PM |
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Congratulations on know knowing that you have have moved an athiest, with words, however disinterested in the message. *9*
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| Re: Blob??****(blob)&& by MR Blobby |
MR Blobby 62.31.28.68 |
23-Jun-04/12:16 AM |
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| Re: BW by ayatollahshawn |
MR Blobby 62.31.28.68 |
23-Jun-04/12:22 AM |
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