Re: Tomorrow's Dance by RevHydra	ggawrysi 67.81.241.50	3-Jun-04/11:34 PM
reading it several times helps... believe me, i agreed with god'swife at first, but it starts to resemble something
Re: One O Five in the A.M. by Enkidu	New Life Drug 69.106.238.155	4-Jun-04/12:55 AM
i absolutely love it. zero.
regarding some deleted poem...	New Life Drug 69.106.238.155	4-Jun-04/12:56 AM
why do u have to be so good?
regarding some deleted poem...	New Life Drug 69.106.238.155	4-Jun-04/12:57 AM
I am infatuated with 2 men and in love with 1
Re: Solipsistic, Drunk, But Still Friends by horus8	New Life Drug 69.106.238.155	4-Jun-04/1:00 AM
awesome
Re: Solipsistic, Drunk, But Still Friends by horus8	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.196	4-Jun-04/1:03 AM
OK. Your shit kicks my shit's ass. I keep trying to write this poem but I guess my life is too bland to appreciate the hackles raised on the nape of my neck as an "almost orgasm." Love the last stanza. I'm familiar with tofu boners but what is a meteor brother? "Out of choas cums order."- Mel Brooks in blazing saddles.
Re: The Red Basket by pain killer	New Life Drug 69.106.238.155	4-Jun-04/1:03 AM
my mom is scared of chickens chasing after her. She had a bad experience with one quite some time ago.
Re: I Really Don't Care by MacFrantic	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.196	4-Jun-04/1:07 AM
Nice rant.
Re: One O Five in the A.M. by Enkidu	edpeterson 68.20.9.182	3-Jun-04/6:27 AM
i assume you are trying to make the worst list, so i shall help with zero.
regarding some deleted poem...	horus8 24.130.62.63	3-Jun-04/6:53 PM
How about a gank of smank?
Re: Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) by wilco	cuddlytiger17 64.80.246.128	3-Jun-04/6:09 PM
i really liked this one. good job!
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	3-Jun-04/5:42 AM
An Anagram of your poem's title is "I'd kiss a cunt" - I am therefore raising my vote from -2- to a -10- in light of your subversive humour - well done!!
regarding some deleted poem...	Mona Lisa 195.92.168.165	3-Jun-04/10:51 AM
this depicts people and beautifies our behaviour and is not i think kitch in its descriptiion. written with style.
regarding some deleted poem...	Mona Lisa 195.92.168.171	3-Jun-04/12:55 PM
likey
Re: Kangaroos by Bobjim	Mona Lisa 195.92.168.171	3-Jun-04/12:55 PM
grr
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.176.102.131	3-Jun-04/2:03 PM
Pretty good. By the way, I went canoing with your husband this weekend. He's a pretty good guy.
regarding some deleted poem...	terbenaw 129.8.166.23	3-Jun-04/4:06 PM
I've changed my profile, so can we please get back to critiquing the poem, not the wannabe poet?
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	3-Jun-04/5:26 PM
"windowsill" is one word. The "That winter, the beaches were always empty" bit breaks the first two lines' really excellent rhythm. It's a little wordy there. I think you might do better with something like: "Here, it’s always warm. The beaches were always empty, That winter, and more stars than I had ever seen." And you have two "always" in the same place in adjoining sentences. "You never seemed like driftwood to me," was too obvious. But you could save it, perhaps, with "But were never driftwood to me" running into the previous sentence or, if possible, something more clever. I'd drop the "as slow" or "Cuts us" from "Cuts us as slow," and the last bit of that stanza ("very air" and "mountains sing") needs changing. By the time you get to "Your advice was usually good" you need some new sentence constructions besides the usual declarative/expostulatory. How about: "Your advice, usually good, I carry like sticks..."? And "sticks of wood" is wordy and unnecessary. I know you did it for the rhyme, so you could do "I carry it like sunbleached wood" or "kindling wood" or something such. Drop the comma after "see" in that sentence. Where you've made the rhyme heavier in the "verse" parts, you need to do more work. The fourth verse, particularly. And I'm not a big fan of rhetorical questions, and especially the CLSwift kind. Still, good work, totally fixable, and more than worthy of a constructive criticism, so all you new Yorkshirish moor-dwellers can kindly kiss my bony ass.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	3-Jun-04/5:29 AM
Ms Portland Mason, James Mason's daughter, started smoking at the age of 3, with the consent of her parents, in the vain hope that she would not take up smoking in later life and she lived to the grand old age of 55. She also bought a bra and girdle for her tenth birthday. This proves nothing other than that I read the Daily Telegraph's obituaries page each morning.
Re: Post-mortem bordem by little_big_nose	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	3-Jun-04/5:32 AM
Do you collect roadkill? I do; in fact I have the largest collection of pickled otter bums in the whole of South West London.