Re: a comment on Feudal Conflict by Dovina	Dovina 205.184.70.141	25-Jan-05/10:14 AM
Not a bad title. She is a bit feisty.
Re: a comment on Feudal Conflict by Dovina	Dovina 205.184.70.141	25-Jan-05/10:13 AM
I'd like to hear what "word-heavy" means to you here. You must realize that I wanted to keep the chess images flowing and certain words are needed for that.
Re: a comment on Feudal Conflict by Dovina	Dovina 205.184.70.141	25-Jan-05/10:11 AM
I am afraid you are bored, because it is about chess. It is also about a relationship I don't know what you mean by "the look" or why that would make you scared.
Re: a comment on Feudal Conflict by Dovina	Dovina 205.184.70.141	25-Jan-05/10:09 AM
I was afraid someone would take the word "queen" in this way. Must it be you, O friend Brutus? You see, chess is a very old game, mayby oder even than the "queens" you speak of, though I doubt it, Greeks being as they were and all.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	Dovina 205.184.70.141	25-Jan-05/10:04 AM
I like "deem" but zodiac will dislike it for that reason and impute his dislike to something quite literary or enstooling.
Re: Reasons by dancin_n_da_moonlite	some deleted user 134.219.102.97	25-Jan-05/3:09 AM
It definitely has a lyrical quality to it, I could imagine it being sung rather than recited. Not too sure about the flow though, there are times when it seems overburdened by the choice of language and this stifles the rythm a little.
Re: Ode 2 2Pac by PodPoet	some deleted user 134.219.102.97	25-Jan-05/3:01 AM
I like the way you address such contemporary themes here, its refreshing and intriguing, especially considering how many consider rap and hip-hop to be the most relevant form of poetry in today's world. However, I'm inclined to agree with Shuushin that you lose your momentum towards the end, as it feels like something of an anticlimax. 8
Re: fly me away by damianlow	some deleted user 134.219.102.97	25-Jan-05/2:46 AM
Hmmmm, this has potential, but unfortunately I detect more than a faint whiff of plagiarism in the air. Are you an oasis fan by any chance? The bridge is oddly reminiscent of another song...
Re: Feudal Conflict by Dovina	patty t 64.231.4.9	24-Jan-05/8:02 PM
title: "Prima donna." I'd give that a 9.
Re: Renton: Girls Deferred by heartlessempath	wilco 24.165.207.93	24-Jan-05/7:29 PM
This is pretty not bad. 9.49
Re: Feudal Conflict by Dovina	Shuushin 70.16.215.111	24-Jan-05/7:10 PM
I think you got word-heavy on this one, D - but I agree, it is a little ominous.
Re: Ode 2 2Pac by PodPoet	Shuushin 70.16.215.111	24-Jan-05/7:07 PM
A nice job with a topic I know nothing about - having said that, I think you ran out of steam at about here: "Why couldn't you have survived And let the dark angels pass you by?" From that point on... I dunno, it looses something. What is there, however, is very strong.
Re: Feudal Conflict by Dovina	wilco 24.165.207.93	24-Jan-05/7:07 PM
Is this about chess...or about "the look"? If it's about chess, then I'm bored....if it's about "the look" then I'm scared.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	Goad 217.95.223.81	24-Jan-05/5:13 PM
ahem, aversion to "thing" considered illfounded?!? You've forgotten our battle of limericks over the word, then, have you? I'm not sure it's an actual error to use discover as a synonym for the sense of find that means "come to feel", but it certainly is jarring, and by using it so you risk making those readers who possess a finely developed literary sensitivity wince. I did. And since I was reading during my morning enstooling, it caused me in fact to inadvertently pinch off a log quite before I was ready to do so. The delicate mopping away of the resulting splashings necessitated my full attention, hence I was unable to complete my perusal of the pome. These are the risks one takes with one's audience when one neglects to adequately ponder proper usage! English 201: if you intended "discover" as a synonym for the sense of find that means "come to feel" then: "My creatures will discover that all I've made seems quite pleasing and right to their finite minds" was what you were looking for. If you intended discover as a synonym for the sense of find that means "judge", the only d-word I'm aware of is "deem": My creatures will deem all I've made quite pleasing and right in their finite minds.
Re: Feudal Conflict by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 69.236.20.55	24-Jan-05/4:29 PM
Gee Dovina, around L.A. the queens slay as they lay with their own holey men.
Re: a comment on UFO by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 69.236.20.55	24-Jan-05/4:26 PM
I believe they have three digits on each pseudo-pod so they count in base six. So maybe they have an area 54.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	Goad 217.95.223.81	24-Jan-05/4:18 PM
I think "Reflexive Enstooling" should be added to the list of pome categories.
Re: Birth by Caducus	Dovina 209.247.222.84	24-Jan-05/3:51 PM
Wow, there's several ways to take this. What man, after knowing the warm squeeze of a woman's womb would desire anything more. Well, being a man you can return.
Re: a comment on UFO by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.84	24-Jan-05/3:46 PM
Do they have an Area 59?
Re: a comment on UFO by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.84	24-Jan-05/3:44 PM
No, I did not hear that, but I want a Print-A-Good-Man machine. The kind out there on the street all come with too many self-inflicted faults.