-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago
30 Oct 2004, 8:10 AM
I don't know how you get that from translating individual words. The correct translation is: richa is a bumface. He sings with the girls. "Why do you sing with the girls?" asks Caecilius. richa says: "I'm a bumface."
"Pests! Scoundrels!" yells Caecilius. Much blood flows.
I was just about to send Burgers a link to this poeme, but on reading it a second time I realised that that would be an unbelievably appalling idea. Particularly so soon after his you know what.
Except "Call upon the wrath of God on thee" is such an awkward line. Is "Call upon" a command? Or does it mean "I call upon"? If it's a command, then it makes no sense because you're saying "You call upon the wrath of God on you", because "thee" means you. What you should be saying is something like:
"Call upon the wrath of God, to fall upon those who see fit to tamper with..."
If it means "I call upon", then it's still awkward, because you're saying "I call upon the wrath of God on you", which is full of ambiguities. Are you calling upon a wrath of god that's sitting on someone? Are you calling upon the wrath of God whilst standing on someone? Or are you calling upon the wrath of God, to fall upon someone? You want the latter, but the sentence as you've written it could be read all three ways.
There are other problems with this poeme, mostly due to a lack of punctuation. In short, what you have is a garbled mess :(
It's all fine except the "ding a dong" part. Last time my dong was dinged it hurt like hell.
Whilst ropes huh? Sounds a little archaic for common language
Just the last part is concrete. But still a good story.
Chris Reeves would be proud.
More forceful like killing them or castration maybe. It doesn't stop the cycle though. God said in the bible "My sword is truth".
Truth is a powerful thing. Look what it did to Nixon.
Dictionary.com: definition 6. for soured: Of or relating to excessively acid soil that is damaging to crops.
for blooms: The flower of a plant. (no flower ie. no bloom)
for deflowered: 2 To destroy the innocence, integrity, or beauty of; ravage (not just women)
for fruit:definition 3,4,and 5 A plant crop or product: the fruits of the earth.
Result; outcome: the fruit of their labor.
Offspring; progeny
"Call upon the wrath of god on thee" Is like a curse (A pox upon thee)
As far as half archaic speech half common speech.
Go to church or drama schools. Poetry isn't about speaking proper english It's about redefining the language. If you like free verse then you must understand that. Child abuse is something that must be overcome. no revenge can compensate for the damage it does. Only through acknowledgement can you begin to reverse the damage. The truth will set us free.
Thank you for your input it was quite challenging.
I capitalized 'Nothing About You' on purpose... Because those words... just... sort of stuck to me. ...No really diffinate reason, I admit, though.
blahblahlbah.
The horrendous part was just random. ..*sigh*
blablahblahlbahlbah
Maybe he couldn't have. However, neither canes nor opium pipes (with or without a pair of birch tits carved into them) have anything to do with my comment.
Good Day.
a nude, three-legged sack race in a mosquito swarm.
is this written in braille or some other code?
rigiditus nippulatum, et clampostona ingratiae solorum solarum, slapadiddle dildatum
you never saw this kinda thing happen when the dimocrats were ruining the cuntry.
I think saddam chicken salad is running the cuntry and the cities too, and that he only allows the appearance of democracy so that lazy bastards like myself don't get too riled. a smoothe transition y'know?
of course, fuck old George, but the "poem" is awful, and hackneyed. everyone says that shit, day in and day out, fuck of mr pres...bla bla bla.
a gaping hole. This is great.
fucking hilarious. Why is he taking pain killers that poison his body? There are perfectly good painkillers on the market that do not poison the body.
nothing worse than a poor afficted soul, eh? the end line makes it all worth while, and completely stands this motherfucker on its head and redeems it with a broom handle.
I don't think the end redeems anything. He should never have died? hmmmm
I thought it was well conceived and well written until the last few lines... though the entire last stanza is awkward.
It is a good thing, in moderation. What do you think?
asshole. nigger. stupid sonovabitch. Idiot. imbecile. mammoth.
Though I see where you're coming from, a synonym for issue is problem. Teen suicide is a problem, and it is sad that its so common. "What would be sad would be if teen suicide WASN'T an issue." <--With issue meaning problem, you're saying that teens committing suicide is a good thing. lol before you criticize others make sure you know what you're saying.