Bachus
on Penumbra by klosterfobik
11 Sep 2004, 5:37 PM
Cambodian
you
yourself
fuck
go
Ooh. This goes on the favorite tab. Nice.
Well, I can't complain. 7 for me.
Hm.
I like how you took a serious topic and kind of made it into this elementary rhyming thing (and I'm not one to talk). It'll be a 5 for me.
Hahaha, well burn my buscuits. This poem actually won something. I honestly didn't like this poem too much and am very suprised that it's doing as well as it is. But anyways, if my crappy poem can win something, then just think of the stuff you real writers can win.
Well, although I'm kind of stepping in out of nowhere, I don't think punctuation is for the artless, but it shouldn't be a defining trait in a good writer either. If someone has enough passion that he/she starts writing and doesn't put a period or comma where it should be, then oh well. The Literary Hand of God won't squash us just for that. Good poem.
Oooh, very interesting. Nice work.
"They make me glad". I don't know much about poetry, I mean I read and write the stuff and maybe it's just my simple understanding, but the line "They make me glad." kind of dropped me. I liked the poem though.
Well, I say it's open to interpretation because if someone reads it and thinks that this person is screaming out of excitement, well then that's what they get. I personally wrote it with that person screaming in fear because I'm about to go hallin' ass down a busy freeway. I can see where I could use some clarity but grammar?
alrighty
A sack of shit inside a bag of trash,sitting in a puddle of piss.
Very thoughtfull poem, I really like the way you write.
I've seen mooseknuckles with more style and flair.
This is just bad writing, but with emphasis on
what it's like to be black, poor, and in a dress.
A shit sandwich, hold the bread.