cuddlytiger17
on The man of steel by <{Baba^Yaga}>
16 Jul 2004, 8:52 PM
LMAO this is great! hahahaha. A ten no doubt.
This is great. Bravo!
I really like this poem. The images are phenomenal. :)
~10~
sure...? lol
Interesting. It has a similar theme to my new poem, "An Old Man's Folly."
What do you think about it this way? is it any better? I changed it before i read ur comment though, so i dint get a chance to consider what you had said...
Very nice meter, though I'd re-touch the end of the first line of stanza two.
The subject is "pimply", but I've seen a worse applications of it.
If you're up to it, I'd notch the agony level down a bit, maybe with some images that either describe this feeling you want to convey, or something else.
Or, as an intermediate fix, make the last stanza focus soley on the remedy while keeping the second to last as a transition from this agony to hope.
I know this isn't very good, it needs quite a bit of work. I'd appreciate any positive suggestions. :)
The first verse reminds me of the book of Revelation.
Well, either way I appreciate your take on it, EP's aswell. Thanks.
A plump -0- for you.
With a £1000 tart.
Genius.
When I think of southern USA, I imagine swamps and those boats that look a bit like hovercrafts, and men with dungarees and pitchforks and pigs under their arms. And also of Lynyrd Skynyrd. Maybe you should work these things into your poem.
Very sensual, pleasing.
Very pretty, like the feign of line two to three on the first verse. No need for full stops after each verse.
In my experience, Electroman1979 is ultra-fundamentalist Christian and therefore has no tolerance for that which he percieves to be blasphemous. He also has no room for other interpretations due to his unwavering devotion to his religion. I'm sure he's not a bad guy...just closed minded.
very very nice
consider changing the last stansa