richa
replying on Distance by wilco
8 Jul 2004, 2:47 PM
Nope, a lecturer once told me everyone utters half a dozen sentences that have never been said before every day. The ideas may not be new but there are certainly different ways of saying things.
Dovina
on Sugared petrol isn't sweet if your ass is black & blue. by Y2kSlamPoet
8 Jul 2004, 2:13 PM
There's a category for Prose Poetry, but I disagree with putting this there. It's too long and too unpoetic even for prose poetry. Try a short story, posted elsewhere.
Not sure, you had me confused with your explainative take on my opinion. I had originally thought that he'd take it with a grain of salt really.
Y2kSlamPoet
replying on Sugared petrol isn't sweet if your ass is black & blue. by Y2kSlamPoet
8 Jul 2004, 12:24 PM
Merci.
MacFrantic
on Sugared petrol isn't sweet if your ass is black & blue. by Y2kSlamPoet
8 Jul 2004, 12:22 PM
This should really be under prose, which I dislike when associated with poetry, but nevertheless... *6*
I don't think he's really in need of an uplifting statement like "If you get really good people will slag this type of thing off as trite." to reinforce his confidence.
What do you think?
Born, raised, and currently residing in San Jose, California. But you can believe whatever you wish. Lets say that I'm a hermit huddled in an igloo up in the north pole and eating seal steaks.
I'm glad you didn't miss the fact that I use cliches purposefully. But it would be nice if you realized that arguements often dissolve into analogies and familiar "-isms", or cliches. Aversion of these was not my aim.
Tho I'm not exactly sure what in hell you are staying, I am sure enough to give this a 9. Interesting!
Forget the rhyme and try free verse. Also, an economy
of words would improve this. Try to say more with less words.
i like those fours at the end ...
I like the message in this piece and agree. One minor nitpick. I would delete the "off" so it would read, "who venture to new worlds for peace."
Not bad but you should avoid cliches such as "beyond a shadow of a doubt" and "damaged goods" and "universal truths." Oh, also "any way you put it." Be original as much as possible.
Are you talking about changing words or deleting them or just
changing the punctuation?
I was too embarrassed.
Evil contraptions.
(You were supposed to ask me what a porcelain henway was....)
You make me a believer. I thought the poem was about a "pinon lamb." It took two reads to understand why the ravens were crapping on the lamb and then Epiphany! It's about trees and nature and all that stuff. I am a city person, I have no idea what you're talking about. But what you say is Bloobyful, excuse me, beautiful.