-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
8 Jul 2004, 10:53 AM
Are they?
Almost. That first line troubles me. Sooooooooo, I'll will only vote a -10-
I criticised writing poems about science, poems are about image and surface, not about models.
I'm sure you don't think there's such a thing as absolute truth. What you were arguing is that science should be left alone, or whatever, because its aim was to find absolute truth, not simply to model the physical world. But the only person who thinks that science is the pursuit of some sort of absolute truth is the straw scientist you stuffed up your face. Forget pragmatics, and absolute truth; do you think the aim of science is to construct as accurate a model as possible of the physical world? Because if you do, why in Sodomy did you criticise science for having unstable theories? Instability is inevitable when scientists are in the business of constantly refining their models of the world.
You are clearly not from California at all. I suspect you are actaully from Watford.
A frustrated poetess who conforms to a corset for the purpose of showing how silly she looks.
A good story. Some shortening might improve impact.
Verse 2 might go:
A tiny fly walks
In stale alcohol
And poignant tears
I dunno, play with it.
What's a paradelle satirist??
INSIPID Lovely, but I've just had a bath where waters slap across one's bits.
"I am raw sugarcane for the eyes," is a great line. If only the others were. Line 2 is a question mark.
I like it all but "confined to." why not give her a choice?
Especially like, "All I have is desperation, and sometimes that's enough to get by on."
So do I. How is that?
A paradelle satirist.
And wilco, you've succumbed to cliche. Is this the normal generic prescription for the average joe or what man? BOO!
Rude and happily profane,
Your ranker jester.
People are giving this a hard time, but I rather like it.
INSIPID Full of the pale rousing breaths of morning.
Do you know how fucking stupid that sounds? really? Your becoming the next candidate for my blessed jester crown if so, and if you can kill me while lifting its from me drafty dome... assuming that I haven't sucked you dry of life before hand.