Never, never, never end a poem with a word that ends in -ing. It weakens the impact. What were you thinking? Oh, gerunds, too, are words you should not be using. -10- I found the poem to my liking.

Just a preachy thing that doesn't get at any of the problems you say "we" must solve.

"still not shaving, unwhiskered" a wonderful, telling line.

Missing someone. Not very well told.

I should smite your face with a mighty cudgel for such a terrible poem. However as you remind me of the Katie to whose memory I still cling, like a pair of pants to an old man's crotch, I award you a fairly indifferent -7-

A bubbling mess of green left by a 3 year old on the carpet of a close relative.

The most terrible congealed piece of phlegm ever to have been laid down under the guise of "poetry".

Ahhh metaphore. A region I have not achieved. l.19, scent? Stanza 6, I think agai is abused,Just delete the second one, it isn't needed. Hearts are sad, yearning for the healing to return. By the way, thanks for the votes and comments my friend.

Guess you grew up on him.

Umm, that's not latin, none of it. Confiteor natura et terra. But the english parts sounded good to my intoxicated mind.

He must mean alot.

First verse does not make a whole lot of sense. 1) Who is this new squaw the past has forgotten, how does past have a wife. 2) To consumate their raven joining-- 'their' can only refer to the squaw and the past. So how come they are being joined when his new squaw has been forgotten. 3) How can was ever be new, it is the past. Verse 2, talking about christ as an abstraction invented by people to fulfill a need is just trite. It has been said a million times before, and offers a side of the argument but no insight.

Not sure the leap from subservient to motherly is a logical one. Don't like alpha-male it is inelegant. The time in this is confusing. You talk of how you knew him in high school then claim many years on he is still not shaving.