Dan garcia-Black
on The Sea (revised) by Dovina
22 Jun 2004, 8:30 AM
Good.
#1 why clean clear not clean, clear?
#2 why not
And after that
I loved the sea.
Was it for form's sake?
Besides, I like repulsive pink people at the beach... especially with wasabi, soy sauce and a side of ginger.
This sounds and feels singable and sad. I can hear it late in a smoky Tennessee bar, a guitar man strumming, and me thinking of all the bad times. Hit me with another chorus Wil.
Thank you all for your comments. They have been helpful.
Thank you, I might just do that. We all put up a stink of sorts.
heart crushing
an open heart, so few
ya its,as if i can't stop now. i love it. thanks for your encouragement. i wish i had discovered this about myself at a younger age. i have tried to write in the past but nothing worked. then i stopped trying to write, and i began writing what i feel, and broken wings was the first one.
You are a heavily soiled crapnappy.
This poem stinks worse than a prawne covered in brine grease and stewed in the bowels of an elderly woman only to be dislodged by a roaring trump which shredded the old ladies ringpiece!
What sir do you think of that?
Fucktard.
GGGGGG U U FFFFFFF FFFFFFF !!
G U U FF FF !!
G GG U U FFFFF FFFFF !!
G G U U FF FF
GGGGGG UUUUUU FF FF !!
A handy sized guff - ideal for parties, christenings, and embalmings.
A truly prawne infested jodphur of violent accomplishment.
great poem, go check out my freestyles too
nice, come check mine out =D
Most probably because it was written last year, and worked its way up form the mound of paper I have on my desk. It was a nice surprise to see it.
dude.. you are good. keep it up...
Tell me about it, not enough xanex. Print to your hearts content. Iâve never written before. Started about 3 weeks ago. Considering Iâm 44, thatâs a long time to wait. Iâve found inspiration, now Iâm trying to lose it.
writing is A clarification of my true anguish
PS-Why did you set this poem on "the Twenty-Eighth of February this year"? Did you forget, perhaps, that this February had a 29th?
I think you'd be inclined to believe a proposition like 'Where Else to Start But the End?' is right and self-evident because it sounds really cool.
However, if I said 'Where Else to Start But the Beginning?' you'd also think that was true, because it, too, sounds cool.
I don't think you've really thought out the line "There are rivers to cross between happiness and loss" very well.
PS-I thought the movie 'What Dreams May Come' was totally ace!