more, search your heart

Over-all, the rain theme isn't very strong, and the ending didn't help that much at all-- reminded me of something that would be penned by a highschool girlie. Blessed with six.

This is one of the few poems that I think actually deserves to be in the top 20. Wait, does that make sense? Oh well..Great job!

Smashin. Blessed with ten.

I feel this piece would be greatly improved if you edited it. Look for repetetive or redundant lines, trim it down to give it better impact and so it doesn't seem to drag on and on. Despite that, I'm compelled to give it a nine. It's honest, funny, and pushes the right buttons for me.

What the sam hill?

Reading is masturbation for the mind.

Seems like something you just vomited up, but still not bad. You've got to change this: All somewhat whisky, won’t apply at all If I don’t know who or what you is

Very well done, I like the repition, yet its not overdone so it still flows, it just makes sense, I really like this one.

I tried to read this as a poem and found that it just didn't work. It maybe a good song for all I know, I didn't have the music though.

Here's the grammar bit: You don't need a comma between stoic and cobalt. "It's" should "its", and I had trouble remembering that 'it' was Lake Michigan. I'd consider saying "the lilted breeze" and running the sentence into the next stanza, instead. At any rate, the second bit needs a little work. You've got "as I drank" doing double duty as subordinate clause for two main clauses, a big No-no. The best I can come up with for a revision would be something like: I can still hear Lake Michigan's soft and stoic cobalt breakers. The lilted breeze by the Beer Garden mixed so well with your silly laugh, blew your russet hair against my cheek as I drank the rest of your warm Black & Tan, stared at the shimmering of your freckled shoulder, half concerned that sweat and sun could make such splendor. I'm not really pleased with that - as you've pointed out, I'm not great shakes at poetry-writing lately. But you get the idea. Some other little things: 1) "stared at" bothers me. I hate that construction, and though everyone on this site is bound to bust my ass for saying it, I like "watched" a lot better. Or "stared ______ at" with some adverb or other (hard, sleepily, stupidly, come to mind) inserted. 2) I wasn't really prepared for "half-concerned". Looking back for clues, I get the "silly" girl who doesn't deserve to be so splendorous - and that's about it. Maybe it's enough and I just wasn't paying enough attention the first time; see what other people think about it. 3) "so well" is a waste of space, a place-holder expression. You can think of a better description. 4) You should break the line after "sun". Then you get an easy half-rhyme with "Tan" and you don't have to worry about the last line being much longer than any of the others. That's about it. It's not bad, really. Definitely the best of your posts.

stoic? lilted breeze? final stanza is quite good

i took a trip to detroit several years ago.

Not bad, no, not bad at all. Blessed with nine.

I like it as is, except you could have added a line break after "I'm somewhere." That said, you are blessed with ten.

Bravo.