zodiac
on Origins by Doug
16 Jun 2004, 1:42 PM
Look, Doug, I know you think I'm a "nitpicking dickwad" and a "bore", but please try to pay attention for a second. This is as close to real criticism as I get on this site.
The entire central conceit of this poem (that Perfection and Profound beget Hope) is totally wrong. If anything, Hope and An Infinite Amount of Monkeys and A Finite Amount of Time produce Perfection, but even that's pretty much crap, too. The point is, Perfection and Hope are pretty much unrelated - or at best inversely related. If there were no such real thing as Perfection, people would still Hope. And, in fact, if there were such a thing as Perfection, and it was common enough, then there would be no such thing as Hope.
And besides, Perfection and Profound aren't even the species. If they were to breed, they could only produce some horrific Adjenoun which any half-decent midwife would wisely smother with a pillow. I would recommend picking some new abstract qualities and giving this another shot. Or even better, stop writing poems based on your bad idea of what poetry's supposed to be, which is apparently Big Capitalized Abstractions, and write something about, I don't know, your deep personal feelings or something.
Thanks,
zodiac
PS-The most appropriate response to this comment is not: "So? Your central conceit is wrong too and I gave all your poems multiple zeros."
Opinions are opinions. You can not classify them as wrong or right. That is like telling someone that they can not think the things they are thinking. We have to realize that we are all living in our own worlds (our own heads) and that we must learn to be accepting of the fact that we happen to all live on this same planet. So as far as a wrong or right opinion, it does not exist. Simply think what you want to think. A difference of opinions makes us learn more about life.
That might be true if I were English, but I'm not, I'm NUDELISH.
Dont forget YANKY BOY if it wasent for us English
you lot wouldnt egsist!!
kinda like the poem though.
I love poems like this 10/10
look at user titan69 he has lots of this sort of poem
FTW?
Is not the question how can you not smoke a joint and call marley a fag?
Yes, I think it is.
Got better - hooked me more toward the end. My 2 cents. Good first couple of lines though, so got me interested. :) Some reworking and this could be killer. I dig the message. Nice work!
"I am most definitely my own person. I am funny, honest, outgoing, quirky (hence the s/n), unique...and as everyone I have met says...I am 'special'."
I think your website sums you up in a nutshell. You really are special, and I hope you always remember how lucky you are to be that way. It's because of your wonderfully unique personality that you can sit down and write whatever pops into your head, just like you've done with this piece. I really think you hit the nail on the head when you said that life's questions just seem to be open ended with no definite answer. I guess everyone has their own opinion on life and death and what we are destined for. Opinions are everything, and there really is no such thing as a wrong opinion. Apart from those opinions that say that other opinions are wrong, in which case those opinions are the wrong opinions, not the opinions they claim to refute. What do you think? Great poeme -10-
true to the end
nice poetry, but you need to work on your grammar skills, punctuation... and a little spelling.. but other than that, I like it
"god's wife" is a turbo lezza - are a soderestrom?
Wrong!!!!!
If this poem were a picnic VioletSuede would have eaten it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why would you want a nitwit to vote on your poeme?
So sorry for my lack of spelling skills,but it seems there are certain mean - spirited people who cause me to type a bit quicker.Zodiac, I have no "music" of my own,because I'm smart enough to know if my music really is cancererous or not,I have no misconceptions like yourself!Please feel free to be mute!