god'swife
replying on Big wave by DR Limerick
15 Jun 2004, 3:33 PM
I've given over 2,700 comments, many of them positive, just lately the poems are terrible. That is not my fault.
Thwere should be a period at the end of the 3rd line, or no puncuation at all.
EXCELLENT. and you even called it the right name!
If poetry was a picnic, this would be potato salad that sat out int he sun too long.
5-7-5 structure like a haiku, but not of nature but of life.
Your crowns on too tight.
thats the first posative comment i have ever seen you give.
yes i know its wrong.
Thank you, good doctor.
thanks for the limerick shin shuu
im allways happy to get them
keep up the good work!!!
take the second half of the second verse and put the rest back into the word-pile.
And the last line could work too - just the idea of it; toasting bodyparts.
could make a memorable song - but not another suicide note.
And please try in the future not to extrapolate your illiterate nonsense all over my poems, Doug. I am not the speaker of the hand-job poem; one Hatch "Cunnilingus" Cunningham, of Catcher in the Rye fame, is. As it happens, he knows very little of either love or war, being dead of prolonged seasickness on a troop transport to Vietnam. And any idiot can see the poem's not about love or war, anyway. It's about the joke phrase that goes "In love as in war, every hole is a trench," which I copped from Francisco Goldman's really excellent novel The Ordinary Seaman (pun intended, I'm sure.)
And my name's not Jimmy, fucktard.
And at least I know how to punctuate after a comma.
And is a fantasy of jerking off a man in uniform more sad that a fantasy of jerking off a civilian? Why the hell should it be?
And also: cock. You've proved all my predictions right. Congratulations on being a fucktard and flaming onanist. I look forward to your imminent departure.
haha, well, I don't happen to think that at all. I just got tired of watching everyone throw the word "guff" around.
Exactly.
Exactly right.
You deserve to live.
I love this poem from the title on, but it's all a jumble. Sometimes it takes years.
Terrific insight. You need to narrow this universe down. Take it easy. This could be a great great poem. Slow it down a bit. Do some research, study words.
Great title, but you fall into the abyss at the 3rd line. It's a nice idea, how is it you always put to much sauce on the biscuits?
Childish.