Sasha
on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer
7 Jun 2004, 3:26 PM
Oh, and you henceforth have no right to pontificate about stuffy "classic" style when you have talked about a "hat so drear." What's worse though is that you've done it in a poem with "rollin'" and " 'cause" sprinkled through it. It's jarring to say the least.
another translation?
Oh fine. I'll change it
I know it's lame but forgive me, I can't help it.
I'll give you $30 if you can find one native english speaker who actually talks like this. No one English dialect exhibits all of the features in this villanelle. So I'll have to give you a six for being inauthentic and inconsistent.
"Away you garish day! But come, dear darkness!
Close my eyes to the millions of your sky"
That was what made me feel as if I was transported to the middle-late 1800s. Therefor, to me, it's a classical flar'd ending. The over all style and feel wasn't exactly one that plucked my strings- everyone have preferences.
Congradulations on your fluency in french. I can speak it to a mediocre degree, but reading and writing it is another thing altogether.
Well, now that my questions have been answered, I'll now whip out my final vote.
You've been blessed with seven.
They're both mine. Neither is a literature assignment or a chore. I've known French since birth and occasionally write in it. What's classical about it?
Thank you!!!! with this sort of limerick its not to be
picked and poked at. whats wright and wrong. just use
you head to picture the seen!!!
Alabama was decent aswell, & I do have a flare for the Clearwater Revival(sp?).
But at heart I'm a rollin stones fan.. blues and rock intermixed in musical perfection. And yes, I do think Mc Jagger is an artistic genius. (though, having seen their last concert and the mummified look of the drummer, along with the fashion statement made by the guitarist made dennis rodman more tolerable to look at... for a short while anyway. Mc Jagger was the only one who seemed time capsuled with tight jeans and early eighties bar-shirt under his blue button-up shirt. Maybe he found the miracle drug that Cher has been praying for.)
Always use multiple exclamation marks, that way the words don't have to do the work. Ace idea
Oh, then all is forgiven.
I can't say I'm in total disagreement with what you say. There hasn't been a country song that I've liked in at least 8-10 years, but the old songs by Cash, Nelson, Hank and even Garth Brooks are definitely good.
Unfortunately, I don't like country.. but you've managed to earn my blessing of seven despite my bias.
But really, I definately don't like country, it's a withering music style in my opinion, hangin by the thread of nostalgic hillbilly prom memories of Billy-Jake Roe snaking his hand underneath the skirt of his friends sister a year younger than he, but her bra's packed enough to let a lot of things slide with the aid of some potato gin.
no one is a little boat and one is a big ship
but what as that got to do with the limerick Hu?
Heh. Nice work, sounds like something I'd do while idling at my cubicle terminal.
You've been blessed with nine.
Started out good, but yes, not as good toward the end..
Is this translation something that you've actually written? 'Cause if so, the classic flare isn't doin jack for me really. And if you didn't write this yourself, then why do you post it's translation? Not here to feel as if I'm looking over literature assignments, but these translations have that effect 'pon me.
That said, I'll be reserving my vote for now. Hope you don't take my comment badly- I can't help being an ass since it's a part of my bloated pride.
Remove the plum from your mouth before you start talking blabbering crap. There are two ships involved.
Reflexive fucking what!!
Talk English carnt you
"her" has long ceased to be viable as a reflexive pronoun.