edpeterson
on Child of Troy by Caducus
27 May 2004, 10:25 AM
in to ...this separation bothers me...but overall this is a really good poem.
Audrey, we are SO going to Chicago even if it involves ducttape, rope, you and my trunk, we're still going!
Yeah, by the 3rd stanza I was tired and just really didin't put much effort into it,Lol. Thanks for the comment though!
Ahhh - the list lengthens. Impressive.
I'm glad someone is keeping track of these things.
As for this particular poem[e]- is not 'orrible. Its not a poet's poem[e], reads more like something to be given to the boyfriend/girlfriend (I suspect girlfriend) - it's more like a "Poem" in the hallmark sense.
Some of those rhymes (other than the love/above) bit are clumsy - but love has that effect.
I always feel silly rating a poem[e] by Everyone, but I'll give it a generous 8.
Have you all lost your minds? This is not a good poem. A bore. I could barely make it through.
Your poems are always the poster child of anti-climax.
You're still doing it. Feelings and brings don't rhyme - nor do always and days.
And also:
In Love as in Love (Free verse) by Everyone/CLS
Your hair is long, shining, and smells of love
My hands love to roam through the golden tresses
Getting lost in your soul and the stars above
I can't get enough of your passionate caresses
untitled 4 (Free verse) by francis nor capule
probably tons of love.
perhaps the sun would indeed shine, from up above.
My Wonderful (Free verse) by ga_writer
My life is nothing with out your wonderful love
You are my beautiful angel sent to me from above
Was it Me?? (Free verse) by ga_writer
You were my angel sent from above,
Sent here for me to shower you with my love.
A.E.G. (Free verse) by nowhereman
How can you say you feel no love
for me, I hold you so high above
An Angel (Lyric) by broken_wing11
An angel walked thru the gates today
Into His heavens up above
An angel has been blessed
She left us with her love
Arrows (Lyric) by Miggy
Arrows striking me from above
Brightening me up with your love
Tragic Love (Sonnet) by WithoutLife
A heart that can never be given away
To the one I truly love,
Must forever wonder astray
Was it condemned from above?
Why Daddy? (Lyric) by candaliesa
Now I'm stting with God up above.
Wishing she would have given me love.
You Give Me Love (Free verse) by Free2Rhyme15
The brightest star shinning, in the sky above
Is nothing to you the person who gives me love.
Holding on for Jesus (Lyric) by Everyone
Thought I'd learn from my mistakes
Just like the Lord above
But when I need my friends the most
I turn my back on those I love
Empty Sorrow (Free verse) by hummers86
Too many times
The ones we love
Slip from our grasp
And fall from above
My Angel (Free verse) by baby_d
You have proved to be an angel,
Sent from heaven above.
To bring back to me,
The faith I had lost in Love.
I'll Take You In My Arms (Free verse) by ilovecars131
Never again shall you yearn for love
Nor pray for an angel sent from above
The meaning of Love (Free verse) by The Slender Blade
What is this?
An angel in heaven?
No, this is love,
From the skies above.
Angel (Free verse) by Butterfly1120
She to me is an angel.
One sent from up above.
Here to give, and not recieve,
someone with so much love.
My Guardian Angel (Limerick) by ramtheman1
I know my mom's in the heavens above,
Watching over us all with lots of love.
hells kitchen (Free verse) by crwncka1
chains are seen hanging from above,
floating around in the coldness of the wind,
felt coming in though the open pass way,
is where I have come,
to find the soul of my love,
Broken (Lyric) by Irischer Junge
Though I've lost
My only love,
I've not lost
My God above.
no name (Free verse) by ~ska~
And the streets of cold.
Trying to find love,
Your lookin' the wrong way,
It's right up above.
Forbidden Love (Ode) by wcrystal lane swiftw
Radiance beams from you; my beauty queen,
I know He is watching from above,
Is our moment all a dream?
Why must this be a forbidden love?
The Angel at the arcade (this is actually an 'acne') (Pimple) by scitz
I have fell deep in love,
Sheâs an Angel from the sky above.
The Grave (thanks to z) (Free verse) by Mr Pig
At least youâre under the willow
You liked the thought of it weeping above you
And all I can say, in predictable cliche,
Is, God, how much I love you.
Angel (Lyric) by mistaric
Youâre an angel,
Sent from up above
Youâre an angel,
Youâre the one I love
I wanna die (Pimple) by scitz
I want to join the Angels above,
Because in heaven at least Iâve a chance to be loved.
Malcontent (Lyric) by EAger to Offend
Taken good care of
by politics called "love"
retarded defectives and
mutants can rise above
Am I Good Enough? (Free verse) by wcrystal lane swiftw
I want nothing more than for you to return my love.
I write pretty lines for you about the heavens above.
The Night You Came (Pimple) by god'swife
That night I gazed down,
as if somehow, I were floating above us,
sleeping naked together on your simple bed
How immaculate we are, how immaculate our love is.
A Sullen Moon (Free verse) by Jimbo
The silence of the moon suspended above
Brings such feelings of want and love
hopefully im something (Free verse) by ~ska~
Maybe I'm the girl you love,
Maybe I'm the girl you look down on from the stars above.
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me (Free verse) by Artemis745
He said my place was ready
In heaven far above
And that I would have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
Sunday (Free verse) by cleverdevice
My eyes could not see
What I wanted to love me
The earth and the flowers
Are forever above me
Goodbye (Free verse) by Sunshine Conkey
Maybe someday he'll find true love
Just know "sunshine" will be watching from above.
Dont break my heart (Free verse) by Cali
Prove to me this feeling is wrong
And fill me with your love
Show me youâre that angel they talk about
The guardian from up above
Talking... (Free verse) by thirdchildofpain
Life's too long for me to love
So take my life
and send me above.
I'm reserved (Free verse) by Alyssa91
of enthusiasm and all of the above
when now all i want is to be loved.
Dear Lord (Sonnet) by simone_girard
And now in you I place my trust and love
In you dear lord in heaven above.
Symbol Of Love (Sonnet) by simone_girard
So they say goodbye to their symbol of love
As their baby moves on to god above
Love (Sonnet) by simone_girard
I do believe the lord above
Created you for me to love
My girl (Sonnet) by simone_girard
But you were born to me because of love
And each day I'll thank the lord above.
Song For My Soulmate (Lyric) by John K
Have you ever seen two people madly in love?
They've been given a gift from their God above,
Remember (Lyric) by Luv2write
I remember the summer of warmth and love
I never doubted that you cared
My angel, my Godsend, from above
Thank you for all that we've shared.
Mummy (Free verse) by Cali
Whoâs going to teach me the joys of life?
And teach me about love
I wish my mummy could do that
From way up there above
if tommorow never comes (Lyric) by junkyarddog13
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
To Me (Free verse) by Birdman42s
You fill my heart with love;
You're a God-sent gift from above.
The Courtesan (Sonnet) by horus8
But to me she was my only love.
A reflection from my Lord above.
Live (Lyric) by Luv2write
We can live for every moment
We can die for what we love
We can dream of sunny days to come
And what awaits us up above
I Love You (Free verse) by babyBOOMER
I Will Never Compromise My Love
Yet Dreaming Takes Me Far Away
Of a Woman Lying above
A Best Friend (Free verse) by Birdman42s
You're an angel from God up above
and I'm thankful for your understanding love
Time T R A V A I L (Free verse) by Jimbo
A rdent pleasures, now once removed
A rousing my thoughts of love
A rid and barren, soiled, I stood in my garden
A waiting a day from above
Foolish (Free verse) by AmberNicole
Like a snake, you stole my love
And made me believe you were sent from above.
Goodbye Dad (Free verse) by Caducus
Dad, just want to say I love you
and God can never be above you,
9/11 tribute (Free verse) by Caducus
Two held hands in an image of love,
Angels were crying watching above,
Insult (Free verse) by Caducus
who does nothing but criticize people above her,
Who thinks nothing of friends who tried to love her.
Hidden (Free verse) by tbeach84
I hide from security, from comfort and from love
I hide from these painful things, proclaiming God above
lost love (Free verse) by cherish
My head aches from heartaches of my lost love.
Also in hopes of one day being together one day up above.
Maria (Ode) by Nicholas Monson
I feel lightness from below,
See sunshine from above,
My joy is now complete
With the woman whom I love.
Waiting (Free verse) by Sugarbbybuttrfly
To rekindle our love
I'd walk to space
Ask for help from above
Just to see your face
Trust (Free verse) by hobojo
You reach for my hand
Expecting my love
"I am so sorry"
I say as I look from above
The City (New Jerusaem) (Lyric) by blkarak
Hope, love, voices from above,
A BACHUS MAN A MANY (Free verse) by Garrett S Sexton
Now slumped in some shite as normality walks above.
His dying last words.MAMMA!I NEED LOVE.
My One True Love (Lyric) by Hooman
So take my hand my dear and together we'll reach out to the mystery
above,
For we have the blessing of our fate, as you are my one and only
true love.
Sent from Above (Free verse) by Sugarbbybuttrfly
Time passed and we spoke move
and soon we fell in love
And in my heart I knew it was true
this love was from above
It's All 'Cause I Love You (Free verse) by Tigger8023
You're the perfect star in the sky above,
The one I wish upon with all my love.
The Wooden Armchair Of Similar Dreams (Free verse) by Caducus
You took so long to be taken,
Too long for the vultures who circled above,
In heaven your dreams awaken,
A simple dream called love.
Wanting (Free verse) by Sugarbbybuttrfly
All she wants is someone to love
She used to think that love was from above
Must be Fate (Free verse) by hansa1957
I've found my soul mate
My one true love
This must be fate
By the hands of someone up above
Whisper Of Truth (Free verse) by IndianEyes
Passion and deapth, the courage to love,
never-ending as space up above.
love 2 (Free verse) by little_angel_maria
as i've failed in all of the above,
I admit by chance maybe i just fell in love,
Good Love (Free verse) by w~* ATHENA *~w
what makes a good love
does it come from above
Too Late (Lyric) by Miggy
in love,
as I see you up above
Child of my Buttocks (Lyric) by -=Dark_Angel=-
Is pitiful, and flawed by Love.
The greatest anguish from Above
You're the Only One (Free verse) by Chels85
I ask the Lord above,
Why do you have to be the one I love
Essential Love (Other) by CharismaAllOver
God made love from high in heaven high above.
Thank You (Free verse) by pnaipoet
Thank you for so much love,
you are truely sent from above.
Be My Girl (Free verse) by disturbedone182
You must have been sent from the heavens above
For you have earned my eternal love
cylinder (Other) by kthulah
and we together feed the starved
if nothing but our love
and whether bare of head or scarved
teach them to rise above
Dear Ms. Sexton (Lyric) by <{Baba^Yaga}>
I'm better now, and so high above
The Doctors cut out all our love
NIGHTMILK SUNBLOOD (Free verse) by horus8
Feel the sheets soaking up our love?
Hearing the rich choruses droop from above
Contra Mundum (Other) by psychedelic
Contra mundum, my love
You're my lifeline from above.
LIKE AN ANGEL (Free verse) by jeremy bjelland
She has lots of love,
Just like an angel from above.
Butterfly (Lyric) by coryh64
Because you???re my definition of true love
I want to fly with you to the stars above
The Message (Free verse) by venusdemilo
You were my heart, my one true love
But a message from above
The Wrong Choice (Free verse) by TheVampireLeStan
My family, I truely love.
This, they thought I was above.
A prom that could never be (Free verse) by Eric Johnson
Does a heart have limit, for those that it can love,
I say no, and I shall prove, that I can rise above.
This Strange Feeling (Lyric) by snowing
Or a heavenly thing sent from above?
Could this strange feeling really be love?
Vespers and Cobwebs (Free verse) by Bluesee
The Happy and Chained
To release and uphold
To the Light up Above
To relax, bathed in Love
Night Song (Lyric) by Sailing Solo
Spinning and whirling around the darkened room
singing a silver song of longing and love
the light of her voice dispelling all gloom
as the stars from heaven shot down from above
A Sonnet for Barbara (Other) by PatColvin
A Girl who'd love me for the guy I am,
A Woman worthy of my deepest love,
A Beauty who would cling to me, her man,
A Princess faithful to my Lord above.
I'll Miss You (Free verse) by Eric Johnson
Oh Lord, I'm sad, and yet I'm shining, I've grown to hate this game
of love,
And yet when I, stare at the stars, I can't help but rise above.
Class Reunion (Free verse) by Lenore
For with the aid of a gentle breeze
Waving their boughs so high above,
I hear them whisper "Come in, come in,
Come in to this garden
That you have grown to love."
him (Free verse) by akriti_mehta
But somehow I just keep
running away from all his love,
His love sinks to the bottom,
My fear rises above.
The Heros (Free verse) by madjack2
For peace and love
We have walked many roads,
Blessed
by heaven above,
Down the many paths we've strode.
I MISS YOU (Lyric) by jroday
Have faith my son in the Lord above.
He'll watch over you with a mother's love
would you like it more if i threw in an apearance by Spongebob?
no - not at all; we've all been there. Got a few on here meself.
I felt that I was scammed by the hault of the ending...
But I really liked it, aside from that note.
not necessarily bad because its a "missing you" poem, no?
well if its a break up poem, its a good one. From one break-up survivor to another, I love this.
And hey, here's a suggestion: before blundering on into the abyss of more uninformed conclusions about everybody here, why don't you take a gander at some of their poems? Mine can be accessed by clicking my username at the top of this box. Hey, that would be great! Thanks!
Ace Kwai Chang Caine impersonation, though! When you're old and wise enough, you'll see it's more about how many times a week you can get laid, and how many people know about it, than any kind of inner peace. Tchuss.
Oh dear!
*wipes tears*
You have got all our numbers, haven't you?
Well, check out this hook, homesketch:
No one has said anything about not being able to understand this "piece," dig? There is, in fact, nothing in this poem to understand or not understand; it's a soggy catalogue of useless phrases used exceptionally poorly. You have, in fact, no idea how the various cliche-o-mat-produced lines of this so-called poem fit together at all, and truth be told, they simply don't. One moment you have your character walking "every day" to the edge of the abyss, the next you have him stepping into it, and the next hanging on by his fingernails.
Now, bearing in mind that he's supposed to be doing this EVERY DAY, please answer the following question to the best of your ability:
Tomorrow, this poem's central character will be
A) Walking to an abyss,
B) Stepping into an abyss,
C) Hanging by his fingernails above an abyss.
Or D) "Trying... to die", presumably by plunging himself into the abyss (which would be easier if he weren't hanging so hard onto the edge.
PS-Your comment is an utter joke. "youâre probably all sitting there now thinking about some crap like you been through such a hard and cruel life that you poor little minds can't find peace within them" is the best part.
PPS-Your response to this is also bound to be an utter joke. My vote is that it will be the "look beneath the words, don't be so literal" breed of indignant reply, at which point you will have failed before you even started.
LOLTTM!!!!
If you aren't able to understand this piece, then why bother commenting on it? Does it please your egoâs to think that you got it all sussed out and I havenât?
Itâs all right there in the poem, you fear to look deep within yourselves because you donât know what you will find. You fear nothing â literally. You fear being nothing, you fear having stillness and peace in your mind, youâre probably all sitting there now thinking about some crap like you been through such a hard and cruel life that you poor little minds can't find peace within them, have a nice time feeling sorry for yourselves, losers.
Another thing.... see any anger in these words? You probably think you do, thatâs the reflection of your own anger youâre seeing, not mine.
When youâre old and wise enough, you will know what these words mean.
good idea, mfffff mffffff mffffff mfffffff....quite enjoyable, thankyou horus, you opened up a whole new world for me
Boring.
What on EARTH are you talking about?? Again, its not my baby, please leave a comment on the poem, save your ranting for your own, thanks!