You hardly make it worth defending my views on queerboys to you. Make it two points and I'll throw in something about coloreds.

Well, I mentioned the wind just to set the scene, but I could have done that better aswell. As for some of my references being cliche, your somewhat correct- but im trying to get an idea across, and also allow the reader some flexibility in regards to interpretation. In other words, some slight amount of cliche in is better than having my verse becoming incomprehensible. Never-the-less the poem will be rewritten so it won't be confused with my ode "My Love, Futility", so I'll also fix up those cliche(s) you mentioned to the best of my ability. Thanks for your input, always appreciated.

I withdraw my first comment on this one. I think I meant structurally, not thematically, but now I can't even see where I got that from.

Er, now before I go into a seemingly defensive posture, I want you to know that my rebuttal is not in response to your assesment of the poems quality, but to its theme/subject. My last poem was a mockery of most folks need to feel empowered and in control, etc, and of some of the things people do to feel in control and not utterly helpless and insignificant. The piece above deals with the metaphysical, another affront to the concept of theism- specifically theistic use of forgiveness, theism's definition of morality and its use as a strict guideline for avoiding suffering. It also expresses my take on morality/sin/ and self-improvement of the spirit/mind. Course, that was my INTENTION to have the poem express all that, but its obvious that I've failed horribly- and that is why I agree with you when you say its not well done, and I can see how you got the idea that my ode and this poem were the same. (the third quotation in particular is probably where I screwed myself..) Its backs to the drawing board with this piece. Thanks for your comment- you made it clear to me that the poem is crippled, and is in dire need of repair.

You're pretty funny and make good sense when you're not being an ass.

CLS does it because she's a Christian, which necessarily means a liar and hypocrite. Jeremi probably does it because it's performance art.

You see, the real rub of the matter is that if you pine so much for a life of driving fast, using drugs, and having, if not promiscuous, then certainly plentiful sex - well, you could just DO IT. Sure driving fast and drugs are illegal, but that's not very much of a deterrent since the likelihood of getting arrested for any one infraction is incredibly low. And even promiscuous sex is probably okay provided you take a couple of clinical (and emotional) precautions. But you can't, right? Because in some respect or other you've subscribed to a notion that 'adults' don't do those things - that they weren't so great, anyway. That, or you have no way of knowing because you didn't do them in the first place. Or you're just a kid trying to posit what you should feel like if you ever grow up to be an adult. I have no way of knowing. In any event, it follows that the 'slow and painful' 'death' of your childhood you regret so much is just the incomplete reconciliation of a so-called standard, so-called adult morality to the suspicion that those things aren't in fact so bad - or, if they are, that you just don't give a fuck about screwing up your life. You should give it some thought. Or just smoke a joint and watch the history channel for 4 hours straight with your kids.

I understood what you were saying. My, you ARE in rare form tonight. By the way, can you (or anyone else reading this) explain to me where the satisfaction lies for these people that log in anonymously and give themselves 10s? Off the subject, I know, but I was wondering...