first brown spot: "now changing my own reflection forming a reflecting mirror" and that was the last - I think it works quite well.

if I where rating my poetry Id say this is my first that deserves a rating above 0... but this art I will master like no other... in the end... hurry up and shit on this... i already did... but beware

this is very lovely.

I got to agree with you. People can write what they want, and people can comment what they want. Maybe an idea is to write what is wrong with the poem, what you don´t like. This is what kind of critic I would want, and I guess other people to. Some people are just cruel for the fun of it. And that´s not wright!

I don´t know. What about you? Even if I have personal poems, I write about my feelings. What is important to me. I really don´t care what´s important to you.

Suffused with a quiet, monumental stupidity.

Well, its on the edge of profundity (either slightly too far, or not far enough - can't decide). A few of the ryhmes and phrasings seemed forced to my ear though. I'm thinking it could be just *slightly* distilled into something very powerful.

I like it - rhyming scheme is subtle yet sophisticated. I got a little caught up in that though, now I have figure out what the message is...

1) Not an Ode. 2) If we were ever for some reason to quote from this poem, then we would put the title in quotation marks. You don't. Quotation marks "dont" signify "emphasis", "boldface", or "italics". 2) Why don't you punctuate, or capitalize I's? Is it because it's easier? Do you think we want to read something you haven't put effort into? (also, can't is a contraction for cannot. Cant is what poetry without punctuation usually is.) 3) The way it slips into and out of rhyme is weird. Make it all not rhyme. Then you can say what you want instead of what rhymes. 4) It's cool in a Sunday youth-group folk-rock song sort of way how the "in the air" theme ends with "Lord in the skies." Not my taste, but probably somebody's. I hope you make these corrections. We get a lot of Lord-hold-my-hand poems here that are much worse.

You might consider another word for 'brook', since (here, at least) you can cross a brook in something like two steps. It makes the 'one step at a time' part a sound little overwrought. Ditto for the shallow parts where rocks poke out of the water. If there are rocks poking out then why are they 'wading'? They could just step on the rocks that are poking out. It being a brook, they wouldn't need more than two rocks, maybe. And while I'm at it, it's not exactly clear why they're risking freezing water to cross this brook anyway. It's not really a casual thing to cross a near-freezing river. You might add a one-line explanation: "Coming back to camp," or some such. On the whole, the writing is good. You need to punctuate, and in lines like the rocks that 'poke' out of the water, you might consider better more poetic words. Write back if you can't think of any. Tchuss.

"And it's more than my mother ever wanted" is a great line worthy of refrain. "less power than [she]" please (as in "less power than she had" not "less power than her had") last line is awkward; consider "... will always be a woman [with choice]." not too shabby at all - I choose to give it a nine.

My poemes are much better than yours.

Pleasant - something a mother would love; I like it enough to give it a snowman (cuz its snowing)

oddly ... odd. ahh - its a father talking to his son about a new daughter.