Blindpoetry
replying on Questions Need Answers by Blindpoetry
21 Dec 2003, 5:03 PM
lol No, I'm am anti-rap ... :-P But I see how it sounds like it...
I personally believe this poem to be utterly genius.
Now, moving on, Do you really put 9/10ths of your phone number up there to be gathered by the all of us wackos?
Where's 960.
Well - as long as your mother stays...
;O)
ill take it as a compliment:o) which i am sure was never ya intent
Tc
we have a sayin in Maldives, which goes somethin like - "The meaning of a poem is in the stomatch of the poet" its kinda what u feel i guess.
Tc n thnx
<{Baba^Yaga}>
replying on 12673 Jalepeno ave. Chino, Ca. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
20 Dec 2003, 10:09 PM
Great, see you there. I'm getting a little tired of this place since I fucked my mom. Good luck on your contest. You'll find the competition there dreadfully retarded but eh.
Okay - what the hell, I'm a member. Just joined a contest.
I think I've been there, it's not part of my "rounds" - any good?
Yep. It put me in the moment.
Somehow I found myself trying to think of a different last line. I don't know if it was me enjoying the aftertaste; imagining possibilities/extending the vision - or a hunger pain.
Did you try other ones?
i'd like to see the sentiment without any attemps at making it rhyme.
I don't know, spence...
I doesn't say much more that what's said in the title alone.
You must work at the makeup counter at Sears too. Glad to know you.
I often find running over something at a high rate of speed alleviates this sort of tension.
You mum are a broken paerl nexlace part timing as a gloew in tha dark anal beads. This 0 pretty much sums up how I feel about vulva.
What truly impressed me about this poem was my inability to even get through the first line, bravo brilliant.
A lot to contemplate in this piece. Quite exceptional
in content and style. Kind of a Brave New World
feel to this and what a neat way of expressing the
new by means of the old. Being a quantum mehanic's
junkie, I could relate to the fourth stanza in particular but hell, I can relate to all you express
in this fascinating tale that would warm the heart
of any Existentialist worth his/her salt. Camus would
be proud tho I may be misinterpreting part of your meaning. Regardless, a ten!
Ya i know what it is u sez . meself is living in Maldives, a small land where small is populaz n nobody goez..Little ground 2 cover no place to trot...Yez i understand whats u got...
:o)
Leave it b as it is...
A question i can ask is, u trying 2 be a rapper cause me think u tryin/is sounding a itsy like one:o)
i stopd at "The rain has drained " otherwise OK on my book
And stop it shall? i dont know i can fullfill ya request fr critic i am not that gud...but i think each of us can help eachh other..
for starters:
1-"I'm trying to do the same with this bad memory" wud b better if u did away with 'with this bad', it kinda drags the idea.
2-"The grave is taking out the sad" i think i understand what you mean - but a little rearranging cud/might make it better
On the whole the piece aint super nor is it bad..enough fr me 2 give u a 10 atleast..
:o) TC