Shardik
on All the rain has fallen by fair12
17 Dec 2003, 11:56 AM
Not bad 't all.
Guerrilla warfare takes dedication and well to do parents.
cute, could do with being less dense on the page, some stanzas and punctuation maybe.
The rhythm is the best thing
'sit I must'? perhaps: I must/sit yawning, rubbing scuffling my rump.
What with all your wacky crazy experience of shit and stuff, you've never done a hard hitting cutting edge street panto?
Well I'll be damned Jeremi B. Handrinos. Have we finally found something you don't excell at Jeremi B Handrinos. And i always thought you'd make a really rather first rate Panto Dame Jeremi B Handrinos
Arrrree yoooou teeeelllling me a woooomaaan wiiith a pennnnnnis issssn't oriiiiiiginal?
Hey there?
Yep i guess you right dude? I'm sorry i guess i was just a little cranky the other day? Its just, ye know, i can't actually avoid reading your closing sentence and score cause, well it keeps coming up quite frequently, and although i don't visit as much as i used to it always seems to appear somewhere in the recent comments section? Maybe you could come up with another closing sentence and alternate the two? I think i've got one that would keep the REAL ESSENCE of the original whilst proving different enough to show that you've really branched out? How about?
I'm sooooooooooooooooo gay 8
Of course you wouldn't have to use 8 at the end that's just an example!? You could of course use a 4 or a 9 or a 2 or indeed any other number!!????!! Don't feel tied down? I'll leave it upto your discretion?
All I could picture was Yoda rubbin his bum...
mmmmgghhh - stuck i am young skywalker - bored, bored I am with this trainin - mmmgmgghhhh
"a path of emotions and realities"... yes, that describes my own life so beautifully. I also liked the way you used the Tree of Time as a metaphor for the Master of Rhyme. And the way you used Mankind's struggle with Death as a poignant reminder that as human beings, we don't always get the balance between poetry and sheer idiocy right. Thank you.
A deeply disturbing piece that caused powerful sensations in my brain and body. Controversial stuff.
Srry that i cant b here in Poemranker more often - been in a training n still am. Hope 2 read ya guys/gals stuff once i finish this arse grinding.
Cheers friends
Blarb gluu glaa glaa? Bless you.
When I'm giving a score, don't read the comment then? And what meek and mild "furry" animals are you talking about? DO I LOOK LIKE A PINKBUNNYRABBIT??? NO.
I'm a fucking heretic disguised as a priest, and I'm leading the furry meek folks into oblivion. Ok? So stop fucking with my master plans and scram?
And no, I cannot hear confession for random cruel acts against animals- so do not bother me with such hogwash spewed from your ill-shapen hairy lips.
Now the last line was "pop- fizzle"
Other than that, wonderful. Blessed with eight.
lol
I know.. relax, progress is slow, the only other idea i had was to talk about his rotting corpse? and the test results just really stank. ;/
One day you shall have your pure & classic haiku, I just haven't come up with any good ideas for natural imagery. :[
plus, really now, a lot of the ideas I get are very very unoriginal, and never shall i go down that road willingly or unwillingly.
first one was the first topic idea I had..
And confessions? well, he doesn't really need to confess does he? Everyone can smell it. Thanks for helping though, its appreciated.
sliver- I appreciate the suggestion, but that really doesn't suit the haiku unless its beef we're talkin bout, in which case it would be modified to: My Freezer Died - Cowberg Met Mr. Sunshine
flatulent zombie III? so whats I and II?
Risen dung? its a rotting corpse, not rotting crap.
Astro-turd? dead martians from mars? "man"!
The brown awakening.. hrmm.. not exactly what im looking for
Soiled Ambulations (damn, never came across that word when searching mr thesaurus!! but no)
The Thomas Brown Affair sounds fabulouse though. Thank you.
SupremeDreamer
replying on If you have a god complex buy a mustang! by Y2kSlamPoet
16 Dec 2003, 9:11 PM
That must mean you fucking love it!
EVERYONE LOVES IT! But just can't bring themselves to show it.
Oki doki, thanks for the comment, toodles.
Mook