Shardik
replying on Rockmage, I was going to pay him... by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Nov 2003, 1:01 AM
You will die of prostate cancer in less than eight years.
if you insist- cred line gone.
So let me get this straight you give people you like tens whether you've read the material or not, and people you don't like zeros using the same method? And we wonder what went wrong with democracy? lol.
oh - can you dump my creds line; gives me the heebies.
glad to help though.
sho' nuff. but - also good.
Yeah, huffing glue will get you there quicker, stay with it.
I have been.
Yeah, you should, people like you that rig the best list aren't poets. They are hopeless hacks.
Slam dunk of the drunken monk,
lines written red,
wine of purple grape,
mouth agape in
occult worship and
uttering the wise words
of loud nothings.
^^ first stanza of the first memoir. quite a difference isnt it? lol.
well.. the last one was quite different- and overall "formal yoderspeech + pending doom + reality unveiled + exclamation point, and a catchy signature"
now is this about "Piteous punks have we become?"
"have we become piteous punks"... choices.. choices..
I'll go againt my gut instinct for once, and toss the yoddle..
was this yoderian constructed last stanza in the last version? quickly now - make it engrish!
"occurrence" as it is used is a missed opportunity, methinks. Why were they welcome? (sarcasm aside)
Other than that, pretty frickin' solid.
-9-
i no comprenday "lips which life my down"
I like how you say "you define in a single kiss
The inexpressible"
De-lark the last three lines, and remove the word love once and the whole thing will be better for it.
-7- prolly a good deal higher without the first crit.
no worries, ive used the almighty ; a good many times myself.
but memory forgets its available at times.. but theres always a way- somehow, someday.
Hmmmm. stinky, and I'm annoyed at the waste of the precious posting space (not being blessed with multiple user names - and I'm not saying you are either, and besides, it's perfectly legal).
-5- cuz it's the closest thing to a real haiku anyone has posted here in a while (at least it's about nature).
I LOVE titanium.
Glad you liked the delta - some folks round these parts don't take kindly to semicolons though, so - watch yer back...
I don't hate it. It's got a fresh format too.
I almost hate the last part, but the others are so good I'm willing to live with it.
and if the "love" in the title has anything to do with tennis scorings, I will re-visit this with a ONE.
-8-
-nod- quite good, I should request assistence more often.
Accepted! >hands you a spare titanium quill<
Im a starving poet, and the cat stole my silver- i snatched the titanium from NASA, neato right? I think so anyway.
VEry dense. Too dense imho. A few real gems in there and I would have stuck with it if there was some satisfying payoff at the end (pretty much anything except a hand kissed goodnight).
Prolly five really good poems in there.
dig
them
out.
-7-
Let me guess, you must be the old man's whore, and you, I assume, think your poetry should be on the best list too. You two are hopeless, really.