Y2kSlamPoet
on Detective vs Doctor (The Explaination) by Y2kSlamPoet
31 Aug 2003, 9:30 PM
dont worry, im still not a christian, and am doomed to never be blessed with religion.
Hmm. I'm not sure I'm convinced. Perhaps this is because it's not my favourite bit of the whole leadup to Ragnarok, possibly because I know so many wonderful prose versions of it that seeing it put into rhyme seems a little wrong, somehow. I dunno... it's not that's it's bad or anything, but it leaves me rather cold.
who cares what lacking appendages the jews have and the niggersdon't... what the fuck do you care??
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Hrmm, might i suggest a subtitle:
Claustrophobic Tweaker
-shrug- just a thought anyway, your poem sparked this idea..
9.
I wasn't trying too... that's the whole irony of it...
bad day and a strong disgust to everything created... those and impotence
Hrmm.. i might not care for greek mythology poetry, but i think you just sold me on the Norse poetry..
Dont ask me why i like one and not the other.. because im human, opinionated, and am cursed with a discriminative taste organ, aka tongue.
9.
Most of it is things ive heard before.. love is a subject that is cursed due to it being overdone, but you still managed to pull it off, somehow, with the heart thing and so on.. slightly out of order, but oh well, you get an 8.
Hrmm.. it doesnt have that quality i call beautiful, but its well written, and crafted with skill, lets call it a comely house wife that can cook a good stew and keep her husband happy..
9.
novel? Ahhh, ambition, indeed.. you are striving to be "all that you can be IN THE ARMY"
But you bastard, your going to become a mercenary? BAH... ;/ heh. good luck you pink furry rodent.
Oh, heres a 10, call it a goodbye present, or whatever.
that it is possible to adore someone so much
that you avoid their presence altogether.----sweet...9
It rocks :D
"absence makes the heart grow fungus"...
If I had your address I'd send you some Zooloft...
(9)
It looks like your aeorta is about to blow a bubble. The end's a bit cliched.
Sleipner, Odin's horse. I love mythology. Way to go, and you didn't give anything away either. Awesome.
"Perfume", but you know what? Who cares. this is a really fine example of poetic magic and universal appeal. this is exactly what young, self absorbed poets like bristol line swaft are missing. The spark of mystery and magic and a connection to your audience. 10.
Be safe. Be well. Bring the good fight to the wishing well.
I liked it but I think the last verse could go. I love the breaking up of persons ality, clever. -7-