SupremeDreamer
on A ballerina bubble bath by horus8
18 Aug 2003, 1:45 PM
wheres the ultra violence? lol. 9
-shrug- you into murder, im horny. so what? relax man.
Juiced.
Grody.
If I had a stepladder I would climb and climb until I could not see this poem anymore, written on a condom package smuggled into Tijuana to rest on my wife's bosom for days and days while her body fessed up to her life.
My bum is nared, and I need not try very hard. The secret has been shared. As you were care beared, to death.
hostile,
you start off well enough, with a clip-cloppity rhythm and rhyme--but then somebody hobbled your horse.
also, can you show me a fresh treatment of this theme?
no vote yet.
In your efforts to be psychopathic, you are only homeopathic. I understand this, I relate, I also worry where your ass-hairs will crawl next.
Speaking of baths... have you read my Sestina? He's right, he was over for dinner. With a Jew too, for that matter. Figures.
Whenever I catch a cold, this big black snot falls out of my left nostril and curls in my lap like a muskrat would if it tried.
Why would Mona Lisa carve anything? She was just a ginky painting.
If you were any more gymnastical, you would be fantastical.
How come you were drinking grapefruit juice when Jesus was already on fire?
Where do pimples come from? This is really the cry of your poem. Pimples come when people think too much of their grandmothers at orgies.
L3: conflict in personification: that/who
L14: "And precarious fob eachother off as," makes no sense--punctuation might help, or redefine your meaning
L16: what does "the" leviathan have to do with anything? and since when is there only one?
if this were a vocab assignment, you would get 50%.
but i am not trying to be mean. just askking you to think to the best of your ability. it seems you are throwing up veils for the sake of the unlearned. set a tone and keep it. if you would be abstruse, be so throughout. have an even temper, sirrah. you strive to impress, methinks. instead, perhaps, you might strive to enlighten, or better yet, communicate.
no vote yet.
How can someone gracefully sit, unless there was a turnip there?
why did the Ku Klux Klan go in that movie?
does that mean our moments are really hats we sat on accidentally and we are in disguise when we get dizzy?
I warned you about making false statements in court.