Bachus
on Dear Lord by simone_girard
15 Aug 2003, 12:10 PM
Ten!
Son Of A Bitch
replying on Fuck Me Like Love Fucks Me (changed) by Son Of A Bitch
15 Aug 2003, 12:09 PM
Yes and Yes your right and right.
Deep.
Poop on your face.
vavoom.
"Scores on the headboard" change 'headboard' to gilded loom.
Perhaps you should be spayed or nuetered?
horus8
on A Sonnet For Santa Claus, Who Hates Jesus, But Likes When You Buy Things by snacktime
15 Aug 2003, 11:36 AM
Satan Claws 8 Hayzeus 4 brakefeast.
yippy
Yes! NO!!!!!! 0.
Indiscrete (Free shit) by A Hostess ding dong
Some say methinks I'm shit,
Paranoid to fight the, shit
The void that shits,the void who shats,
The void that preys,prays gays-
Gays first tingin the morn,
Because we porn,what those who have gone before Him,have shite.
Don't I fucking bite?
For when we are shit,
Some,He says,must shat,
That invalid wound of being a blind shite,
and for the rest of my shlife,
The megre,insignificant and wretched,
Shit...Our foolish...- Shat
are foolhardy puissant shites,
And precarious fob eachother off as shites,
Whose persona is not just yellow shite,
but also comes in green and black
basically alien shite and nigger shat
Forget their ignorance-through the leviashite,
So is it best,not to be the best, and
just don't give a shite
The distinctive,innate and innocuous,
But just..... No Ordinary shoetry
but some complex motherfuckin' shit
the only thinh hoatile aboet me and
my poetry is my teil mascara.
Sorry, I couldn't hear you.
What did you say? "This place is a zoo"
"Or pass the bag and glue?" or was it
"Have you seen my shoe?"
Or was it more like a "Hey, fuck you too"
?
"spit shined by my pain"...love it!
Very arty / eclectic. Very much in the vein of Master Jim Morrisson and I leave you a full purse of 10 sovereigns.
actually got chills at the last two lines... must be worth a 10
aged:18
endgame:self expression through words
how far you're to go:general gist
thanks for the review
Time to take your turn at the top. Brilliant.
Strong message. Mellow tone.
<~>
on A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom
15 Aug 2003, 5:59 AM
pbod,
first, run spell check. second, develop the amusing first half of the poem, and drop the proselytizing you ram down our throats in the last part. third, use line breaks and spacing FOR A REASON. not because you're not sure how. for examples, i recommend a book : The New American Poets (http://www.ecampus.com/bk_detail.asp?is