eliastemplar
on The Dark one's 2000th comment by <{Baba^Yaga}>
3 Aug 2003, 12:24 PM
An extra point for including an air bisquit.
I don't get it. It doesn't follow the rules either.
4-7-6
Was I talking to you? Are you Matt?
sex on bugs......interesting.
very ambitious.
Last five verses are the best, they could stand as a poem in their own right.
Logic impecable.
First verse is good, nice images.
Not sure about 2 and three.
perhaps a little more subtelty
Pleasant,
fourth stanza you start talking to someone but it is not obvious who. It breaks the flow.
I get the feeling you are making this up too, a bit contrived.
Other than that nice language selection and all
This poem is nonsense, good parts but doesn't seem to lead anywhere.
And usually when people talk about masturbation on here, they have run out of ideas and just want to finish the poem with the first thing that comes into their computer geek head
other than that OK
Not sure why god is masquerading as a prostitute.
I guess the final line is about how politicians are glad they are off the front page, or even glad that the virtues they have to live up to are now less.
Anyway like the language employed, and the aggression/irreverence
'one must tithe the soul' I'm sure I'd agree if I knew what it meant.
Quite a lot packed in here, quite machiavellian in intent.
Not sure the poem justifies its conclusions fully though.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8
3 Aug 2003, 11:03 AM
On this point I would have to agree with you, SupremeDreamer. People often get angry and confused when they read some of horus8's less PC poetry. They often dismiss such challenging pieces under meaningless buzz-words like "tasteless", without providing a single stain of justification for their putrid remarks. You would never do anything like that, would you?
Bachus and I have had this on again off again thing going since we were children growing up in Equatorial South America. He lived with me for a while 5 yrs ago, but it didn't work out, he being my brother and all. The neighbors started calling social-services after they found out we were related. People here in the U.S. are so puritanical, so he had to move out after we found our Himalayan Blue strangled on the front porch with a note attached to him saying
"What the two of you are doing is evil in the sight of God, and if you don't leave town we're going to be forced to kill you, and burn your entrails on the church altar as a sacrifice. you make baby Jesus cry"
Signed the Calvary Chapel Goon-Squad
Ever see the movie Cat People? Bachus and I have to fuck each other every full moon or we end up picking up little narrow-minded middle-class imbeciles like you at one of the local bars, taking him home and eating his liver in front of him while he slowly bleeds to death. I like chicken I like liver, I like frat boys, please deliver.
In closing my dear Joe-joe, if there is a God he made me and others like me possible so I am just as much a part of his divine perfection as anything else in this universe. He gave me a brain and the ability to use it in any way I choose, but the point is moot, because we both know there is no God and your just automatically appalled by anything that might step out of the tiny little realm of your own personal morals and culture. You're a fucking bigot. Have a nice day. Meow.
I would say "Section 8 housing" rather than "low income". If the devil can't fool the Housing Authority, who could?
I like that the narrator's probes identified this "jar of custard", but his conversion to mustard is something altogether different. Why did the narrator taste him anyway? I think skydive is one word. 10
Nice. I like the last three lines and the juxtaposition of the Easter Bunny or Boogie Man.
I love the Alice in Wonderland type feel, the mattress giggling, etc. What about this "phine" though? 10
raising the bar.. one, two, one, two, muscle bound sailor flexin them muscles... yeah.. why the fuck do i get better when people smack me.. must be some unknown disease that i suffer..
I can't say that my mothers death was quite as ugly. But I know renal failure IS.