walrus8
replying on The Bearded Men by walrus8
25 Jul 2003, 9:34 AM
I've warned you before! Remember the three questions? To reiterate, they are as follows.
a) Is this an annoying, pointless attempt to ingratiate myself with the adult poetes?
b) Will anyone actually read this, or will it just take up 10 miles of space on comment-recent.jsp because they can see from the first five tedium-ridden words exactly what the rest is going to say?
c) Could I post this on my shitty livejournal instead of defecating it all over Poemeranker?
But then it'd make tOO much sense.
bite, blight, bright, cite, fight, flight, fright, height, kite, knight, light, might, plight, quite, right, sight, site, sleight, slight, spite, sprite, tight, trite, white, write, alight, bomb site, box kite, brake light, contrite, delight, despite, dog bite, egg white, excite, first light, flea bite, forthright, gang fight, green light, head blight, hold tight, ignite, incite, indict, indite, invite, in flight, in sight, knife fight, land site, large white, late blight, leaf blight, onsite, outright, own right, polite, put right, rear light, recite, red light, rewrite, sit tight, stage fright, take flight, tonight, upright, uptight, white knight ... etc
Brilliant! I love this poeme! I have learnt it off my heart and now I must log off as I'm going to read it aloud in a pet's mortuary to a bagpipe accompaniment. Cheers!
Have you read "Anorexia for Beginners: A Guide for Fat Kids" by Dr Helmut Wank?
You are indeed unique and rare, my sweet.
Very good indeed! Please post some more poems on poemeranker.com! I will be delighted to read them! Keep up the good work! Cheers! Bye!
I wish it to be known that I will happily give poetry classes to any girl under fifteen. First we shall discuss the poetic merit of my poems, concentrating on the masterful "AIDS in a van". Then we shall take off our clothes (so as to be nude) and proceed to the Towne Hall, where we shall recite The Collected Works of Jeremi B. Handrinos from start to finish.
With your valuable feedback about the switch from "mouth" to "anus", I think you should replace men with "women"...
"It's the bearded women!
I'm really scared!
They're coming again,
And we're not prepared!"
And how could we be?
http://mulberryfairy
replying on 8:45 AM Dentist Appointment by http://mulberryfairy
25 Jul 2003, 9:09 AM
Thanks for the feedback, it will surely have a place in my revision.
No, I meant what I said. Ben Afleck, even if you hate him, is not worth the passion you are wasting on him here.
Please do not spit in my tea, kind sir.
I think you should replace the word "mouth" at the end of the third line with the word "anus":
Each time she placed
rubber gloved hands
inside my anus
I gagged,
my teethâs chattering barely controlled
by the light pressure of her hand.
Any poem with "bowels" as the third word gets a thumbs up from me!! Cheers!
cad-- a few nitpicks:
starved cravings--redundant
âlets do lunch' bunch flow chart obssesives--corrected punctuation
nice lines here:
Sell a common man a common dream,
Weave the fabric of society in to his seam,
get rid of new plight, plight will suffice. Cut the digression of the obvious lines and your getting there