Caducus
on CrapBeer by DurtKL
25 Jul 2003, 8:01 AM
Quality ! I discovered through laughing a brief fountain spurt in my Box area. Loved the end its so fucking sudden like you stormed out in disgust. I could really visualize this and you made this miserable git laugh.
9congrats !
Ok Z thanx for that I see that now reading it over. I have added 4 new lines to the end but can't help wondering if its more powerful without them, thus ending it at 'we're ignoring right now'.
Used to write tons of lyrics and its a bit of walk back to my past.
thepinkbunnyofdoom
on Poemranker's Recent Infestation of Teenage Girls by 68.75.19.117
25 Jul 2003, 7:30 AM
Hehe, thats the truth.
the line spacing here is awkward. run spell check. if you're going to use a made-up word, justify it, dammit!
POEMS DON'T NEED TO RHYME!!!
other than that, good try!
thepinkbunnyofdoom
on Upon a falling bar stool (Free for all) by PluckyHoe by horus8
25 Jul 2003, 7:26 AM
LMMFAOROFL!!!
Worth a -10-
or a young virgin sex slave from black markets of China. The -10- was easier to gift wrap so here.
It is hard for us old folks' eyes to focus when we have to keep scrolling down because the lines are so far apart. Maybe a one line space between would do.
http://mulberryfairy
on Poemranker's Recent Infestation of Teenage Girls by 68.75.19.117
25 Jul 2003, 6:50 AM
Who's looking for love/sex on poemranker anyway? If they are, then they know what they are getting into, a harsh "4" for the unnecessary warning.
gibberish, hmmm... yeah, my language is the same as any other language. I guess it'd be safe to say that your language is as gibberish as mine... and I thank you for commenting.
Captivating use of language but i do not know what tarusian women are? thats my problem for being thick. Some juicy lines in this 8
A suggestion if i may re: line 2 (soft feathers of wings) the 'of wings' part is not really needed as we would associate that they come from wings, also the 'above' we know angels come from above (and below depending on the orgin of the angel). Its not bad and reads well but the words are simply there to suit nothing but the rhyme scheme.
vote:5
I have no idea. I must be some kind of black hole or something
There are a few typos here, and no potstickers. Wonton soup is good with spicy hot cabbage.
A gay on rainbow bumper stickers.
A blow gun on killing monkeys for soup.
A Sperm whale on Moby Dick.
A Condor on animal rights.
A lemming on the art of drowning.
I like asphalt hot Bushmills myself, and concure, but If I must drink beer I enjoy Chicago's Big shoulder porter, or guinesse an Newcastle.