thepinkbunnyofdoom
replying on I've lost my poetic edge by thepinkbunnyofdoom
20 Jul 2003, 1:05 AM
True that, True that, I'm sorry, I've just been incredibly drunk these past few days. Well drunk or stoned but either way, I'm sorry. My bad, Party Fowl on me.
So was I. I think I'm pretty good at rewrites.
Local Band, Very Kickass.
Well duh?
Okay I was refering to the poem, not to me. Make it apparent in your writing not in commentary. Side comments mean nothing as a poet, its the body of the poem that matters.
how much goddamn credit you want? eh? is it really all its about man, the good ole thumbs up? I wrote A Sailors Bottle Message concerning your deserved credit.. creative you may be, indeed.. but does it hurt so much to simply let go and admit: theres more work to be done.. and my furry friend, you got alot of hoppin ahead of you, and i got alot of sailin ahead of myself..
call me fruit loops! your work never fails at making me laugh to the point of choking. Blessed with 10.
Yeah.. welcome to the new millenium. Nothin like a good public hangin in ranker ville to spice up my life. ;)
How about a little bit more constructive criticism?
I'll give you a five for the last stanza because I liked it, but it was a shitslide getting there, good christ, no wonder you've distanced it from the rest of the piece.
Jesus, you're good. You should write eulogies for a living. The funeral companies would love you. For every person they buried your poetry would kill nine more in the process.
Try flowers, they smell good and contrast well against black back drops.
indeed, my poor sweet collection, riddled with low scores. lol. Oh, lordy, the agony of it all. It's a given on this sight that the better the poetry, the more the zero's, and yes, those surly teens are indeed walking meat lips. Unless you are complacent poets that don't rock the boat, like god's wife, and all of those other proper poets, than of course, you can do no wrong. <horus8 lights up a doob and inhales deeply> but who in the fuck wants to live in a world of complacent poets and self loathing teens, and bible freaks? ME! ME! ME!.
Joe is my late boy friend. I am still quite in love with him. he is known to many as Redneck Joe. My friend, Jessie, introduced us. He died while he was at work. He was working on July 19 at the Country Club right off of Bradock road. The cherry picker he and Pete were in tipped. I knew pete too. He was 19.
hahaha that was great
also people who give anonymous zeros are pussies
I disagree, and if you go through your poetry collection you will find that I'm right. I've always given you credit where it was due, and I also believe you to be a less nauseating read than scores of others.
lol i wasn't trying to be poetic in my comment at all
but that's a good revision
no
who are the Random Heros
-eminem
Look.. if you had.. one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted.. in one moment
Would you capture it.. or just let it slip? Yo..
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how? Everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up, over - BLAOW!
Really, I've been looking for a new mouthwash, and I get to break my windows!! What a bonus!!
That's because, I'm a professional. My car is sponsored by shoehorne, and trite with bleach, and Windowlessdex. A cleaner for windowless houses, and sometimes mouthwash.
LMMFAO!!!
I was only hoping for a Comment on the poem, not a whole poem! Props. JB, You made my day. -10-