some deleted user
on Sweet Dreams by d35
29 Apr 2003, 5:27 PM
yea, connect the events it would then be much better, still good story -8-
i give it a 10
its pretty, really makes u think about the meaning or meanings
Have you ever seen a ufo plecostomus? or an emeral or gold nugget plecostomus? Did you know that bull sharks are notorious maneaters and freshwater sharks? Don't swim alone in Chilean lakes... Trust me.
one more (k) in your moniker and you could be a hemi-pene. what's a whole pene called? does the female get shot-peened? if he loses one, does he get peened off?
i'll stop now.
you are really quite funny, my plecostomus was torn appart to weeks ago by my red evil and green terror. In takes a mean pleco to scrape glass in my tank.
oh and it's. wick wa wick wa wick wah wicky wah, chick chaw.
yeah, i need to go back and edit the poem to make that clearer... we didn't fuck... we were both staying in the same apt one night with mutual friends... i woke up early, she thought no one was awake yet... :)
It border lines being a bit to contrived, unless you guys didn't fuck then it would make sense.
Perhaps, once you figure it out. You can re-edit this.
pining.
thanks... my only gripe is that you lose the formatting here
i wrote this for my brother's 30th b-day
and there are exactly 30 lines
and each line grows a syllable (first line is one, last line has 30)
and because of the line wrapping, you don't see that so clearly
Fresh.
Great! but your entire gist of the spirit is in the title not the process of explaining it to yourself.
been there done that. Baba yaga's epic St. Germain covers that. I think it was blasted off by hornets and sea urchins though, and there would be no blood sense it was inside the pulp not outside.
You must be mistaking my multi spectral sonnet here for some last minute annoyance your brain contrived in a rushed search to find an intelligent comment. This Sonnet is not about death at all. It's about acceptance and recognition mixed into an eternal meditation and awareness of environment. Don't be one dimensional here please it's bad for my cuticles. Thankyou.
i'm gonna have to agree with you here
for instance, why even state the last three lines?
you should trust the reader to infer all of that
(i do have to say "texture of black jelly" is an inspired line)
amen, but you forgot the "goth" sub-genre... where common themes and words include "blood, darkness, soul, cutting"
What if someone who had a really ugly face died by having their face pulped by a giant face-pulper then the blood splattered against the wall in the exact shape of Van Gogh's Sunflowers? Would that not be beautiful?
what's the matter bean boy? got too many beans on your bean?
Please don't say all that 'death is beautifull' crap. THe sad fact is death is a parting of friends, not some beautiful eternal rest. When did you see someone die you knew and say, 'Wow. How beautiful, my friend is dead'