horus8
replying on the photobooth by Bill Z Bub
6 Apr 2003, 9:19 PM
Speaking of shit suckers... I'm amazed at how you get the corn up the straw, and the peanuts out of your teeth prior to visiting the family golden hen for another hand out. that's skill. Others may doubt it, but me, I'm impressed.
isn't it orinic night rhymes w/ light??? wtf??? lol...asl?? rotfsd.
It took me until the third stanza to realize this was about cats. I can be dense sometimes.
I like it.
I like quite a bit.
i get it. dissonance. :}
but the rhyme feels forced, so that one line can't be the whole point of the poem, right? i mean, it's a poem, not an illustration. or have you been a naughty boy with settle? did he rub off on you?
take . . . the pin . . . OUT!!!!
Things are generally finished when they stop sucking shit, so, yeah, I can understand that.
ZZINIA IS A CRAZY CAT LADY. read my new poems AMORE.
And I ra-a-an, I ran so far awa-a-ay, and I ra-a-an, I ran so far awa-a-ay.
You could add double the amount of the already doubled amount of simplistic adjectives that you used in this piece and still not manage to cut yourself. Perhaps instead you'll cut the cheese.
sen ti men tal fool
who broke
the golden rule
you couldn't resist it
Yes I know it's true
I've seen what love can do
But I don't regret it
Ohhh you silly thing
Can't you see what's happening
You're better without her
No that's not the case
If you were in my place
Then you wouldn't doubt it
or something
buh?
Hey, don't let me stop you from voting! They're all works in progress anyway. I never quite know if I'm finished...
Thank you, O hoary one!
Also,
... IIIIIIIIIII'm BACK!
Great title and equally written to maintain that fact.I would of gave it a nine, but I see you are still writing it so... later i guess i might.
"And seagulls cried as the boy started to wave." it had ahold of me until this line. Then I just laughed. You might consider losing it. Seriously.
I'm a sentimental fool.
A bitter sentimental fool.
Fugu!
thepinkbunnyofdoom
replying on All hail Discordia?(a true haiku story) by razorgrin
6 Apr 2003, 8:20 PM
Only in some countries.
what, and preaching to the masses of a religion I don't practice in a disreputable psedo-irish bar isn't danerous?
yeah. But the image is great.