Roisin
replying on Mirror to Mirror by Roisin
31 Mar 2003, 9:27 AM
Okay, apology accepted. Are you okay? Had you been drinking when the noodle thing happened?
Perhaps you should maybe see a doctor but if you wanna talk (or write) about it then I'll try and advise you as best i can.
Why thank you Ma'm
Goodness me what a winsome chart and an honour to be included. My fritters are touched !
oh ick. self-righteous as a prophet.
8 is too much for this.....but i like the occasional punctuation of "Sex on the weightbench."
And that delicious mmm at the end!
why indeed. whine for a few more hours, maybe it will help.
By the by, if I came off sounding like I think I'm the greatest or like an elietest, I'm sorry. I'm not really. There are many poets here who constently humble me with their work. I was only trying to give friendly advice.
Try not to be offended by this. I'm going to be honest and blunt. If you just hate me and go on a spiteful rage that's ok, you wouldn't be the first one, but I'd rather you think about what I say. You are quite lacking as a poet. You have things to say, good first step. Now they need to be molded into something a bit more artistic. Mind you artistic words with no meaning aren't much fun either. We have more than enough of that on this site. Find the balence, come back and let us see. Try metaphor and similie. They help a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing an improvement from you. Good luck and happy writing.
I like the last line. It really connects with the reader.
Flies hover over shit, but 'above' is not a term that they pray too very often... because of the maggots, you see?.
ah. Now that the smoke's gone, and the air is all clear. Those who were right there have a new kind of fear. That's whynI say "hay man nice shot".
Hey man nice shot, I wish I coulda mey you. but now it's a little late.
Again?
It would of worked better if your ball turned into a bomb.
If Jesus mispelled as terriffically as you, he'd listen to more Filter!