I am the sexiest nude warlock to date. here let me try an edit down the cat walk. watch this. Blackened Cauldron (Free verse) by Ellie95 With spells of evil. The turbulant chantings of the end whisper to my heaving bones. as if an evil witch stirs my gutt from within her black cauldron, No rest can I find with this turbulance inside. No peace I gather from the Evil The dark witch controls me. I know this deep in my soul.

Yep, this would make an excellent song. Good work, man! 999skiddoo!

Caducus is most correct. 6 for effort. And C, A-thank you suh!

This is excellent (although it isn't technically a haiku). We can only determine truth from within, but these means all truth is personal and subjective and so therefore not really truth.

There may only be a few days left before it begins. These things need to be said. But poetically this isn't one of your best.

The sentiment is excellent. War begins on Tuesday, so they say. It will be the most ironic war in history if America defies the UN to attack Iraq precisely because it is itself in breach of numerous UN resolutions. Regrettably, your versification isn't as impeccable as your politics.

I know your a mere whippersnapper of 12 so I will think back to when I wrote at that age. I hope this will help you: First off your very brave entering a forum for writers where most people wont know your a kid and that your inexperienced at writing and totally un worldly wise. All I will say is this, everything you write no matter how negative the reaction NEVER CHUCK IT AWAY as you may have a couple of good lines to use om a later poem. This may sound unorthodox for a poet to do but your merely trying to find an identity and style for your work. You may find out of a 60 line poem you like now that later you will detest and want to chuck away, --- dont do it. When I look back on work I wrote at 13/14/15 etc i cringe, but its an interesting diary reflect on, and if you date each book you write in you will see how much your style has changed. My advice is simply ignore the votes and insulting, profane remarks and concentrate on the users who can help you. We may be totally different in technique and style but I would advise you to look at some of these users poems and concentrate on maybe writing about something your ahead in, for example write about childhood, most of us are much older and have forgot the magic of childhood, so you have a forte in that field where you can describe a natural innocence and purity. Write about the penultimate moments in your life, growing up with brother and sisters, your gran and grandad are they still alive, what is your most vivid memory and then look at beautiful ways or original metaphors to write. Gods Wife is a metaphor genius for example one line she used to describe an overcast winter day was....'The sky turned confederate grey' now that original. I am by no means perfect but I have generally got something out of poetry, moved people, pissed people off, but achieved what I wanted to do and thats get a reaction and make a difference to an otherwise mundane existence. This is my longest comment ever on ranker but I wanted to help you. User List (by no means complete) who influenced me --------------------------------------------- Tintagiles: Imagery genius, wild and evocative Gods Wife: A real poet in every sense of the word. Intransit: Learning his art but when hes good hes on fire. Poeandknowit: a complete shit human being but good writer) Mr Pig: His work is moving and descriptive. Horus8: A diverse writer, very angry, controversial but always has a point to make and wicked S.O.H. Zzinnia: Like Gods wife both have helped fucking dozens of writers and get treated like shit by some who cant take the criticism, listen to these people, poetry are there arteries, ZZinnia is a top haiku writer and she too is a cool writer. Theres loads more, even view Rangers work hes only 17 but pretty damn good for his age. I hope you give poetry a shot. good luck sk8

This never really engaged any interest, I am trying to understand the point of even writing it.

Lorasia has already made my point. The best man for commenting on this is Horus as you know he does diverse slam poetry this could be modified as song or slam, I would love to hear it aloud on an open mike. Thanx for you cmnts 8

"she's like a 10" - Tommy Boy ... u da man

I love it. Good use of ending words for each line. I like the words: rendered, enamoured, caputurings. Nice use of verbs. Overall, succinct, and highly personal at the same time.

nicely done