INTRANSIT
on I love your pink little bow by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Mar 2003, 3:39 PM
So much better than: DJ Hock a loogie.
Brilliant. 10
Very romantic. Nice useage of language. Keep writing, it's wonderful.
i'll take danish bleu over cookies any day.
Immaturity makes such a good poet like you look bad. As for bringing Durt into this, just because he chose to correct grammer, and I chose to like his poetry, does not mean that it fits anywhere in your comment. Also, I'd like to inform you that the poem is fictional. I do not cut. I could just delete this horrible comment off, but I like critisicm. It feeds my poetry. I'd like the world to see how immature some people can be in a world where we should not have any imaturity. I will not be replying to anything else you say or send to me. I will not be as immature as to post nasty comments on your wonderful poetry. Goodbye.
did you turn it upside down and shake it thouroughly?
WHY THE HELL NOT?
give a little more here. why did you visit? why did you not find the owner? why did you care?
keen-edged hurt, here.
did you know that these regrow? they will look and feel different--maybe a different color or shape--they will have different sensitivities. but they will serve you well, as you will them. it's not over. step into the current. get washed away in the whitewater. it's the only way to fly.
hey, intransit.
some questions for you:
do inuits chant when fishing? does this scare the fish? because of these nagging thoughts, i have issues with the way you have changed the poem. you have taken something pritine and clear, and thrown sediment into it. the chant is too sentimental, i think. if spiritualistic contemplation is your aim, change "auger" back to "augur", and go from there.
your second chant changes him from automaton to thinker, which is not a bad shift, but, i think, shows too much intrusion of mind for a piece that focus on rote. it's a start of a shift, but not an entire shift.
okay, the thoughts came out full formed. trim them.
haha ok
peace
Also; if you think it was about the four? You are wrong. Ranking has no value to me other then to watch others need for it.
Although, if it could be ranked this poem is pi'. Giving it a four only validates the genius of the pina colona versus the long island ice pee. Thanks again.
Durt, i'm a poet. I don't have a fucking professional career. I write what i see. i say what i want. i believe in myself enough to bring it all to me until it compresses me into nothing. i am a poet. not a dentist. i am the element of change the remains always changing. i am evolution. i absorb like sponge bob. you know not the power of my perfect smile, sir.
okay then.
february made me shiver...i made it through, though. march's a buster too. fuck. i need break out of a big ass rut, h. i need a fucking shove. or maybe a shovel.
Yes. Role is also missed purposely.
How are you these days? My phones back on, so.
must you end it without a match?
or is the pass-out implied here? more, more, more.
(S1--roll, not 'role'?)
bunniesnangels
replying on Dear Mr. Poetry, could you hold my purse? <how does babbit do it> by horus8
4 Mar 2003, 12:48 PM
oh, i always read the comments. in here, they're often better than the poems themselves. quite often. usually. damn near always. and thanks for sharing. personal hygiene is very important.
my bad
finals week...all nighter
don't spaz out over a fucking 4
or ur prof career will be hell to yourself
We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for.
Marie Ebner von Eschenbach