Ranger
on The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage
27 Feb 2003, 2:53 PM
Love the name, by the way.
Wow. Image of a man with a metal pipe through his head...ouch.
Why does this poem seem so damn good?
The big problem here is the subject matter. As soon as anyone on this site sees a poem about 9/11 they'll instantly laugh, mainly because most efforts to write about it have been shite.
Being pedantic, I personally hate seeing "must of" or "would of" or anywhere in which 'of' is substituted for 'have'. But that's just me.
I wrote a poem about 9/11 but it takes a slightly different stance. Maybe I'll submit it.
Glorious. Possibly put an extra 'remember' into the last five lines just for emphasis? Although I don't know whether that would perhaps upset the balance of the poem. 8
Thanks for the advice, I wasn't too sure about using the word myself.
"No more the gaudy light of flare" you are the first man to see the gaudy light. Hail! cheeser! I guess you are settle complete with the typos and spelling errs. huh! you aint so good bruddah, sorry. i did enjoy the constant references to things left in a fires origin and wake, but that's it. you must paint? Risdi doesn't have creative writing courses? either does North Carolina. Whatta ya know. Birds of a feather flock together. I have more then one stone, chuckles. i am very patient.
Turnip soup.
"waver" = waiver, must be tr and not settle tsk. what war? this piece is barely a seven, and i'm in a good mood. What a waste of time...see... settle would not make an error like that, that's where you blew your cover. Both of your edges are boring and dull period anyway just giving you a heads up sycophants.
That was pleasent, for an 'other'. It must be terribly awkward to try so hard only to be ignored consistantly. nice vilanelle. The rhyme scheme was almost as complex as the story, or a haircut.
Well, you have your user name going for you, atleast. Do you know who atalanta was? i hope so. Otherwise you would just suck, bleeding or not.
Ummmmm no i will view u as one of my higher superiors but not as a goddess
Oi!! How many times has that happened to me. -10-
when i read this it made me think back to biblical times in israel, in the time of leah and rachel and jacob and of how the women would save their blood, using it as libations. how when they bleed they'd stay seperate from men and those men would take a few wives, some concubines. well done.
Beautiful.
Either way.
I eat fat because nobody else can. I alone can eat whatever I want whenever I want. I can go out and buy a pint of icecream, eat it, I could do that for a week and still look emaciated. The whole point of being young is doing things you can't do when you're old, like this.