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on Kernel by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 11:37 AM
can you refine those last 3 lines--make them a little denser, more toward the kernel, if you will?
good idea.
Ahh the vote manipulation is in full swing again 7 tens and 4 zeros it makes about as much sense as Bill Clinton smoking a ciger from his mouth ! well my ranger friend of young inspired genius, you are a gifted whippersnapper and i pledge thee a 10 and you have entered the top 15 (probably for about 5 mins until someone sas gets all his sexually redundant, handsomely challenged, buttfucking friends in his circle to vote you to the abyss os poemranker.
Hey who gives a fuck dude this is good everyone knows it
Pian? surely pain. sorry, but it did kinda ruin it. Redo it and you get a 9. as it is, a well deserved 8.
Examples of what? Do you mean the people gathering again; there are groups of protesters still around, ever hear of the school of the america's watch, or what about all the people involved in
the protests of the WTO and globalization; greenpeace; amnesty international; student groups are still active in more grassroots oriented localized protests; NORML; HEMP; What's going on in Venezuala? Haven't ya' heard, they're disatisfied with, yet again, US involvement in their policies, all over oil...oil...oil...oil.and there are many more activities that I'm unaware of, I'm sure. But, after all it's just a poem; so please try and get over it.
Isn't this an affliction we all have?
The "tundra" line seems to not qite fit for me. Good start otherwise. Plenty of material for moulding here.
Glad to know you're still out there. Sorry to hear about the employment thng. You and Mrs G. got it rough right now. I wish I had contacts for yoose guys, but I don't know jack about Europe.
Hang in there bro!
Not too bad but book should be replaced by endless lines that frown upon mankind, but its your baby, think you should play around with this it could be VERY good instead of well - good ! heres a 7
Original, well done
This gripped me like a hangmans noose. Horus this is captivating, Did you write this non stop in some kind of emotional spontaneous combustion? The relationship with your father made the pips in my adams explode **FUCK*** this was one work where the reader is consumed by the subjects in the story, my initial reaction was 'shit its a long one' but like a good book you can't put it down.
When your hearts open horus your one of the best on this site. I dont think you need to be affected by comments on your poems, do not react other than in your writing that is your gifted forte.
I respect this work, its up their with the one you wrote about your children, yet this shows you as the son, the man, and the kindred spirit you have no choice in being. Your work is an illustration of darkness but the clarity in the way you tell it makes it shine, pardon the cliches but a poetic synopsis of your work is apt for a piece as honest and reflective as this.
This is your Golden Q Tip award for showing a side of man most conceal =======10======= (like you probably give a fuck)
Hey Intransit, how's it going? I
ve been out of circulation for a while due to losing my job etc etc and having no computer - I'm reduced to using an Internet cafe. But glad to see you're continuing your quest for truth'n'beauty and all that. Keep it coming.
You're right, I do. I'll have to start using it less. Thanks for pointing it out!
it make s me look away to think how you might sway oh the pain we live make my mind leaky as a sieve oh god I know love can be a striking blow. I thought I'd survive it turns out to be a swan dive. With my heart of rock I trapse this world with that lonely flag unfurrled.
tyr more of my work please
me likey try some of my work and Topaz Servias
Freethinker1602
on Milk & Honey with a touch of PCP <the dead cat edit> by horus8
2 Jan 2003, 3:11 AM
wow work on the length....other wise it would have been good