[mojo]
on Lasting Forever by angel_uy
29 Dec 2002, 3:44 AM
Pleasant enough, but could do with a bit more "zing". Perhaps you could tell us more about this character? .6.
Second stanza struggled more than the first "later":"elevator", dodgy? Sounds more like a song lyric? Suggest a bit of pruning/tightening. .6.
Liked the last two lines, not sure about the mole.7.
Do you have a crouching tiger in your living room? The nature of "the connection" is that you find it with the right person, right? Otherwise it wouldn't be there? Does *who* you find it with matter if it can only be found with the right person?
Where the sun does not shine implies that you find it in his crotch.
This isn't really a poem so much as a list of personal proverbs.
Did you throw him in the can and close the lid?
So are you like getting married now. And is this a poem or a journal entry? Do you really need to have a connection with someone to talk about heaven and hell? There is a restaurant down the street from my house. Most likely 50 paces. I bet I could run down there now, sit at the bar, and after a drink just to establish my presence could bring up heaven or hell or god or sex or any other subject without having a connection with the person I brought it up to. It is called conversation with a stranger. Are you like 15 and tied to your hormones, because if so, then forgive me. Everything at that age is so dramatic. It is life without a soundtrack.
So that would make me Lex Luger.
I have had plastic surgery and I do not live in Hollywood. Cheese is seriously fattening and so are nuts unless they are soy nuts. So now I know the reason the young girls take my class. And here I thought they wanted to learn about the Shining Path. And although I come to California quite often, especially lately since I am theoretically following around the director of the LA schools for a piece, I don't think I could stand it. Plus, I am not sure my wife would appreciate me up and leaving so I could help you pay rent so you can afford to lease out a Porsche. She is quite fond of me, especially in the dark. And where would I ride? In the Hollywood hills and get run over by a drunken Tommy Lee after a bout over the kids? And, although I wish I could say I was 33 I have aged since that post. So how do you know Horus8? You don't work at Boston Chicken?
ah, sleeping with my nemisis now aye..you're a bad bulgarian, but you can't make me jealous..if i couldn't it bag the cherries, no one can..well, except for herman your amazing glow in the dark harry poker wand'.
yeah, you are. she's not really fat, unless she got depressed cuz i don't let her give me blue balls anymore and started a chocodile wrapper collection. what's the job for ornella? sag or no? are you gonna let your fish town accent soak through..god that mouth..sweet jesu, remember that time you blew me? lol. you are a professional testicle tamer...seduce any other writers lately? i can tell...you are still craving 'kid greek the sleek'. don't worry i've see your plumbing, and i could never forget copper elbows that sweat like that. by the way, liked your daddy poem..i didn't know you could write...i guess occasionally stones do levitate.
yeah the mullet sight was pretty damn clever. for i minute i thought i was going to see a photo shopped picture of me in the rat tail section. i was kind of concerned.
Why the hell would you move to Hollywood if you didn't want to be in some aspect of the movie industry? The only good thing about this town is the weather. Like 98% of the people are morons highest degree. They all have some type of plastic surgery and drive leased out porsches. It's all about creating this fake image. Anyway, I am a business major and a drama minor out of college, so I want to try both the business side and the artistic side. I think I am a much better business person than an actress...but I do enjoy being on stage. My diet now consists of cheese and nuts....healthy I tell you. So I bought Almassed....a two week shake fast. I'll keep you updated on my progress. P&K...I like you...you remind me of a college professor that I had a crush on in college. Anyway, I'm looking for a roomate, so if you are thinking about moving this way let me know....How old are you again? 33...that's perfect
Geezz,it seems like only yesterday. You are right,
of course, in pointing out the insignificance of
the zero you gave my poem. "Different strokes" surely
applies though I have had some very favorable comments
so no big deal.
If you decide to read a couple of my poems, I would suggest
"Of curves and Straight Lines and "No One Cares." And let me know the titles of 2 or 3 you have written and I will check
them out and give you an honest opinion.
If you do not care to, well....it sure has been fun having
you for a pen pal:)
David
Is there anyone in Hollywood that doesn't want to be in the movies? they are telling you to drop weight? Are you wrestling or acting. Don't fast. just eat correctly. God, I am glad I live in Misery.
Ok, sorry I didn't know you had PMS...I'm on my cycle as well. I just got annoyed that you were not paying me any attention and you know that I can be an attention whore. Other than that...I read for an agent Kay Billings...and she likes me and things I have a lot going on but wants me to drop like 15-20lbs. by the end of January. So, I've been going to Gold's on Cole and everybody there is so gay and so buff it's fucking insane....amazing bods....Tomorrow I'm gonna start a fucking fast...being a girl sucks. Ohhhh...don't tell Shawn yet..let's fuck with him. I don't think he'll figure out who I am just by reading the posts...so don't tell him....You gotta admit though, I came up with some pretty funny shit...the mullet site...fucking insane...
i'm preparing for the first of the year (rent) and feeling acutely aggoraphobic. sorry. figured that was you. Also, i'm moody and unsocial. Why? miss me. Shawn came by today whacky as ever. If he knew who you were he'd die. ha haha..funny shit. and i saw the two towers last night, you know a movie blows chunks when the acting award should go to the computer generated bad guy. what are you doing at home tonight? sopranos are on.