poetandknowit
on The first gurl 2 eva hurt ma by Jazz_t
28 Dec 2002, 12:23 AM
These are the times when I wish Prince never existed.
see, i can tell you're not saved. you're only supposed to give 10% to god. the lord helps those who help themselves, after all. the rest is for parties with drugs and hookers, silly.
and join an acting union so I can try out for soap opreas and make 300,000 billion dollars a year and give all my money to god.
yeah. i have a poem or two on the site.
i'll re-vote after your edit.
made-up word, hybrid of 'solitaire' and 'torus'...first word that came into my head thinking of the way your thoughts circle round and round in your head when you're alone, especially when you're depressed. The human thought process at its least coherent.
thank you for the spellcheck (and i dont mean that in a mean way) and thank you for your comment/vote, i am glad you enjoyed it :) i will have to read some of yours if you have any (haven't checked yet) :D
you should read more stan rice, too. if you ever hope to make it as a writer or a poet. you should maybe check out how the fo-fessionals do it. or something. so there, mr smarty-pants
second to last line: "let's choose"
you need the apostrophe.
and that's about it.
how do i describe this poem?
pure. willing. complete.
Well, a-okay.
no way. they seem smooth at night. in the morning is when you brainsmack yourself and groan, jeez, what was i thinkin'?
you were drinkin' not thinkin', my friend.
that being said, this is sweetly done.
Are you on some kind of high because you are the #1 poet on poemranker and others are asking your advice...I pity them first of all...Secondly, when your writing is paying your bills, or when you are old enough to have them that is, I will talk to you again...Thank me for giving you the time of day...good evening:)
what does your title mean?
nice, just skirting the edges of angsty-suicide-note stereotype without falling in =)
Again, I have no idea what you are talking about or why you are talking at all for that matter. I could care a less who you are. You are a terrible excuse for a writer. But you are doing a fine job of making yourself look like a first class idiot. And that you do have in common with horus8.
I think so - 7
okay, but make it tight enough to feel deliberately unfinished
i would like to see more basketball argot in this poem. i want you to name sports stuff, and with each slamdunk, or 3pointshot, or whatever--you erase a little bit more of the weight of the anger. balance the scales of action and reaction. you dig?
thanks! the unfinished feel was sorta deliberate...whether or not it was effective is another matter =)
freshly said, but feels unfinished
First of all, have I sent you for a loop? Are you questioning if I am actually a different person than Horus8. I am. Is your mind not allowing you to sleep at night due to something so trivial (something besides your poetry that is)as that?
Do you have a poster of Robert Frost on your wall...Or is it Jose Cansaco?
Your identity crisis scares me...Your becoming psychotic, if so your amongst a history of poets. The only difference is, we can write and are also published. But that doesn't matter...you have poemranker.