Roisin
on Spontaneous Combustion/The Moth by ellisonandrew
9 Nov 2002, 6:36 AM
Interesting. Yes, staying calm is the best way to attack. If who you want to attack is heading for demise the best way is to stay passive and watch it be! I liked the last line. Not sure about the relevance of the last line of first stanza. Is it appropriate to the rest of the poem?Also maybe realise was too strong a word to use as surely the moth is not stronger in the end?
You know, I wasn't going to respond to your incredibly moronic comment. But then I saw the truly pathetic attempts at retaliation on *my* poems, and I wanted to clear something up. I do not care. Maybe, if you had any kind of writing talent, grammar, spelling, or intelligence at all, I might respect what you had to say. As it is, however, you came across as a complete idiot who was trying to strike back and gain back some of the tiny bit of ego you had in the first place. So thanks for the laugh, man.
First four stanza show real emotion and the realization of a dilemma that the reader can really relate to. It doesn't flow as well as it could. the last two stanza are a bit childish with words like "boy" and "jerk". Poem did move me however but perhaps that's because i have just been fucked over myself!
Good funny truth.
Fine imagery. What you mean to say is understood without the (by you).
Been on both sides of this one. Painful but real.
This is great, a hilarious retelling, dead on.
this feels like a lyric, but wears a little thin at the end.
Well, it's all about the search, now aint it?
what the hell?
Riddled with cliche.
this feel like it wants to be 'may the road always rise to meet you' in flavor, but it's too uneven. needs more cohesive structuring, and less fragmented thinking. make it more lyrical, if that is the effect you were going for...
don't forget to eat some corn, if you're going to get it on whit the scat-thang. makes for interesting contrasts.
p.s. leave the damn innocents alone.
lol. this is a riot. here's a ten...for having to carry your laptop all that way. 10.h
also a splendid flick by 'todd browning'(also was the first director to do dracula and the man who wasn't there with lon channey which is also a great flick))..who saw his friends head ripped off by a pipe truck on the 10 freeway when it was still a dirt road from l.a to santa monica...he used real freaks of course in the film(including the cone heads which constantly shit there pants on set) and the scene where the de-limbed torso is rolling around then goes up onto that table to light a smoke is fucking mind boggling...cheers!
A sequel is in the works. topic suggestions are welcome. squick, scat and something else, maybe.
If I did raise the dead, I would probably just let them roam, but not before naming them. Schnookums, Foofkins, etc.
so you can get booty. duh!
"live and learn"...or die and dine; your choice, rzrgrn. I think it's hard to beat "Freaks" (1933?) for sheer skin-crawling revulsion inducement.
Good point, hear here!
Moving.