In the beginning of the play Romeo is scolded about his being love sick over another, I forget her name, R something, and then so quickly becoming love sick over Juliet. Can you use that? You'd have to put yourself in Romeo's place.

I've sent you something.you may recieve it maybe not immediately!I hope you enjoy it.

Yuo could talk abotu his failings, or the trap he has no power to escape.

OK, good, that's how it reads.

yes!thank you!but that swelling nose is bitter ironic!

Thanks for voting. Does this criticism seem fair?

I think really it was a lack of clarity - in trying to capture the derangement of the narrator, the poem itsef became confusing. The usage of 'Sole' is very unusual, the word isn't usually used as a noun unless you're talking about the soles of the feet, which I think put some people off, and the red nose is a comic image and it was hard to be sure if you intended it to be so. It's not a lost cause at all, though - it just comes across as being a bit weird. That can be a good thing, though.

Sorry!I do it immediately!will you tell me what exactly was wrong with"Snow-White"?

Thanks Vulcan, who would you fling off the end of the swing?

juliet could have easily had him, were he not a montague. i could easily love him, had i not lost my heart to another capulet, who will not return it

Thanks for the comments Christof!yes mental and physical loneliness!a deranged moment in a distorted image of self.

This was it: 'OK, now I see that she on the perch is Juliet - it was the girl who was confusing me. I think it's the perch. If you made it a balcony, perhaps I'd have got it quicker. Although the 'What's in a name' quote is pretty much a giveaway, now I look at it. Ugh, Friday afternoon, I'm not at my quickest. '

shit. sorry c. i deleted your comment when i meant to revise mine. will you repost?