I have to hold my breath when I read this, for fear of disturbing this fragile scene. Limness, this poem swallowed me whole and held me in that singular instant. A 10, like yourself.

Ah, -=Dark_Angel=-! You always post such wondrous, sheer, unadulterated shit. (I'm assuming you'll take this as a compliment.)

Nice work Zinny! Perhpas your most sensual yet, in the literary sense. BUT... Kindling is the beginings, right? the small pieces that fuel the bonfire? And the beginings of sensuality are all about hints and innuendo. All this to say, don't be so obvious in using the word FIRE three times... What is it that Pops and Hisses? The fireplace? The Oak, the Maple ? The last of the Cherry from some forgotten Orchard? The Sapling pine not yet aged and hard?. Leave "Built Fire" - it works there, because you leave out the article "a" so it defines a very different thing you've created. So maybe he says "The Flame does this to us." I dunno.

Beautiful. Your poems are always such a refreshing contrast to the more popular morbid tones of most poets. Perhaps try to keep a steady beat going throughout the entire poem. You're a great writer!

Simple, and sweet! Three heart surgeries?! Wow! It's nice to read someone concentrating on the good in their lives.

I like the transition from sadness to happiness.Um, your still telling,not showing. Instead of using a season directly(winter), try being more specific. I.E. Compare your feeling of sorrow to a frozen lake. Compare your happiness to the smoldering coals of a fire not yet fully extinguished. You want your feeling to be worse (or better) than anyone elses, so exaggerate the feeling, this helps grab your audience. Did you knock a knuckle on the counter? Then make it sound as if you slammed your hand in a friggin CAR DOOR! See the diff? Keep going, you're gaining on it.6 I'm gonna make you work for it.

mud has no place in my mind's eye for this unrhyme; and a mississippi sky drips right for the time, ages or aeons or eras, sublime-all those vowels long, longing sing singy-sounds.... sigh. if i looked at you with long puddle eyes that poured, would you throw me down, as a god? my eyes are grey; their color they will not divulge. wash away the mud and tell it again. the earth stains this tale of two, and more

sexy...like a sister's underwear drawer. provocative and mysterious - at age 12. nice work...i'll see you tonight. midnight. if you please, bring some wine and a little afterlife chemistry.

take a look. new one just in called realities...continuation

post more. pretty please.i need more.

"That I actually still loved you And found you so nice." this is unadulterated crap. p&k, where the hell are you? this one needs a good lambasting, and i am not up to it, in my weakened condition. bah, humbug.

I have to agree, enjoyably gross! Absolute artsy fartsy shit! Hard to think I could learn from this,but.....

disappointing ending. the fore had such aplomb, and then, ssslurp--over. bah. try again h. you know better than to foist this off on me. z,

no. but it makes for fine lyrics. rock on, h.

fuckin A. the game is indeed on, lassie