Poemranker [20 most recent comments by Christof (281-300) and replies]

on Hunt by cobalt 21 Oct 2002, 7:28 AM

'awaits the fall' is good - it makes me think if fall of man, as if something less than innocent is going on which he is too blind to see.

on nothing could by nentwined 21 Oct 2002, 6:20 AM

Cunningly funny

on d e e p e r by daniella 21 Oct 2002, 6:10 AM

I've just realised I forgot to vote on this - sorry! Here you are...

replying on One liners for the ladies by INTRANSIT 21 Oct 2002, 6:08 AM

I think it is you who are the racist, you for whom the phrase 'ethnic monorities' is a TABOO and HATEFUL.

replying on One liners for the ladies by INTRANSIT 21 Oct 2002, 6:07 AM

But why not? Wouldn't that be a way of saying that he sees his love in the faces of all nations? Wouldn't be, ahem, 'beautiful'?

on Faith by INTRANSIT 21 Oct 2002, 6:05 AM

Yep I think that's better - you're no longer talking down to the fire but you are urging it on its ambition.

replying on d e e p e r by daniella 21 Oct 2002, 6:04 AM

I bet they didn't think they would. It's amazing how they have burrowed into the consciousness. To be so simple and ambitious at the same time, and to bring it off...

replying on Sniper by nightii 21 Oct 2002, 6:01 AM

Suddenly I'm very glad not to be in Washington DC. Or Maryland. Or Virginia. May Chief Moose (who has the best cop's name ever) be successful soon.

on Faith by INTRANSIT 21 Oct 2002, 4:28 AM

Something of the Prometheus myth about this - I might cut out the 'Silly fire' line and try to compress the last four lines into another three line stanza, but that's just me, I like regular forms. Your central idea is good.

on One liners for the ladies by INTRANSIT 21 Oct 2002, 4:25 AM

I especially like the middle stanza - this is very generous hearted.

replying on On the Swings by Christof 21 Oct 2002, 4:24 AM

Thanks! It's on Thursday. I shall start to wave goodbye to my twenties. The thirties are supposed to be good, or so people say.

on oedipus is raising a pint to me now by <~> 21 Oct 2002, 1:29 AM

This is very sly, zin.

replying on Belongings by Christof 21 Oct 2002, 1:27 AM

Too damn right. I won't be making that mistake again.

replying on Do Swans Get Jealous? (#2) by Christof 21 Oct 2002, 1:26 AM

St James's, but close enough... you know London?

replying on On the Swings by Christof 18 Oct 2002, 8:49 AM

OK, good, that's how it reads.

replying on On the Swings by Christof 18 Oct 2002, 8:46 AM

Thanks for voting. Does this criticism seem fair?

replying on On the Swings by Christof 18 Oct 2002, 8:45 AM

I think really it was a lack of clarity - in trying to capture the derangement of the narrator, the poem itsef became confusing. The usage of 'Sole' is very unusual, the word isn't usually used as a noun unless you're talking about the soles of the feet, which I think put some people off, and the red nose is a comic image and it was hard to be sure if you intended it to be so. It's not a lost cause at all, though - it just comes across as being a bit weird. That can be a good thing, though.

replying on On the Swings by Christof 18 Oct 2002, 8:37 AM

Thanks Vulcan, who would you fling off the end of the swing?

replying on Loosed by <~> 18 Oct 2002, 8:05 AM

This was it:

'OK, now I see that she on the perch is Juliet - it was the girl who was confusing me. I think it's the perch. If you made it a balcony, perhaps I'd have got it quicker. Although the 'What's in a name' quote is pretty much a giveaway, now I look at it. Ugh, Friday afternoon, I'm not at my quickest. '

on Loosed by <~> 18 Oct 2002, 7:56 AM

Yes, the target image in the first stanza - of course that links back to 'Bowed'.