Comments byDovina, 2221–2240 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Marriage by Dovina 21 Oct 2005, 11:15 AM
Oh I see, you’re justifying it on the basis of race and Americanism. You’re saying that because 50% of marriage commitments fail, that it’s ok to fail. And you’re further justifying it on the basis that “pure endurance” is not worth the cost. But the kicker is that “romance” becomes the goal.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 21 Oct 2005, 10:56 AM
5) We are not so obtuse as to make commitments we don’t intend to keep. I don’t know if you are romantic, but you seem uncommitted. To even consider breakup is non-commitment.
on a fat man on the dock by ay deee 21 Oct 2005, 10:43 AM
Again, the first line (last line in your other poem) seems out of place, though it's a good line. I'd drop the first verse altogether.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 21 Oct 2005, 10:33 AM
1) It’s good that what you used to think has changed. If I ever thought that being a servant self-negator made me better than he, I would no longer be a servant self-negator.

2) Seldom would the perfect man become a jerk in the long term, though a jerk for an hour is expected.

3) That’s the nicest compliment you have ever given me.

5) My commitment would hold even if he becomes undesirable because it is a commitment, and I believe in commitment. It would be the same with or without kids, though kids add strength to a commitment. Property be damned.

6) Your wedding vow statement, “You are united by a connection that is strong because it is flexible” is what I’m talking about. We change; and the kind of love must change. The extreme outcome of this is an act of faith, where I overlook the wrong, raising his desires over mine, every time, every day.
on Leg by jessicazee 21 Oct 2005, 10:10 AM
It's uncertain whether the legs in the first part are yours or his. It's a sexy romp in any case.
on Leg by jessicazee 21 Oct 2005, 10:10 AM
It's uncertain whether the legs in the first part are yours or his. It's a sexy romp in any case.
replying on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac 21 Oct 2005, 9:55 AM
Now if you'd just get rid of that irritating "late . . .ly" I'd give you a 9.
replying on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac 21 Oct 2005, 9:54 AM
The last sentence is understandable after your edit. You fear religion because you fear conformity's crutch. You want it, but want also want the rogue; you're wild with a homebody bent. I'm surprised you're still married.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 21 Oct 2005, 9:48 AM
Wow, I’m about to melt. Does this mean that you’ll raises my desires above yours, every time, every day, knowing that anything less is fleeting and doomed? Just kidding.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 21 Oct 2005, 9:39 AM
If, I DOVINA, were to agree to be a servant and self-negator, it would not be to some jerk self-centered master. The whole point of this discourse is to say that if I marry the perfect man, and at some later time he becomes a jerk, my committment will still hold. I will not can him because he is no longer desirable to me. Do you see that?
replying on Marriage by Dovina 20 Oct 2005, 12:47 PM
It applies to all marriages.

I believe that in trying to right a wrong, you have written a wrong. Pity.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 20 Oct 2005, 12:41 PM
When you say that success in marriage depends on being a servant and self-negator, you negate all you said previously, and agree with me.
replying on Farm animals by INTRANSIT 19 Oct 2005, 8:00 AM
I hardly think INTRANSIT is that much into wholistic philosophy here, but let's see how he answers.
replying on Farm animals by INTRANSIT 19 Oct 2005, 7:53 AM
And if the butcher block is an awakened thing, how can its chips awaken as if something twice awakened?
replying on Marriage by Dovina 19 Oct 2005, 7:49 AM
I am not married, but if I decide to be so, I will take this position regardless of how he feels about it.
Why the funky "late-" and "ly" on different lines? Maybe to stress your need for new vocabulary.

Tongue-dance would be a good metaphor, but since you didn't use it, that gives me the right to steal it.

Religion will give you a a scaffold of proper nouns, greetings, and expansive gestures, but then the sentence fumbles, as if the word-dance becomes a twisted twist.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 19 Oct 2005, 7:33 AM
Yes. Of course it’s perfectly legal to marry on whims of romance, giggles of puppy love, or to save a fetus. But it’s one-sided commitment that makes it last.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 19 Oct 2005, 7:32 AM
Hear the Gospel According to Dovina and pray it’s not too late.
replying on Marriage by Dovina 19 Oct 2005, 7:32 AM
Let’s consider the running and screaming right up front.
replying on Figment by Dovina 18 Oct 2005, 3:51 PM
I suppose you'd have to hold this letter, feeling its brutal impact, to see it as totally there and totally nonexistant at the same time.