on Last Time by DevilBuni
26 Feb 2005, 6:58 AM
You must forgive INTRANSIT. He drives long hours in a semi on coffee. Don't get me wrong, his suggestions are good, and you'd do well to pay attention. But overall, you've got a good theme here.
You recently told someone that the 10 you gave him was the only sincere 10 you gave that day. Perhaps your comment flows from the same kind of reasoning that uses “your” as a contraction for “you are” because it’s “funny.” Or maybe it’s from the sort of logic that posits an implied proposition in this poem and than rents in vulgarities on the falsity of your straw man. Or the same kind of insight that claims world hunger as a an argument against what this poem is saying.
Oh, guru of sensibility and logic, please teach on.
Oh, guru of sensibility and logic, please teach on.
replying on It’s the Management by Dovina
26 Feb 2005, 6:38 AM
G'mornin' T-Driver. If your "Boss" comment above means that you think the boss in this pooem is a boss boss then you are the only one who thinks it means what I think it means.
replying on Jack and Jill by Dovina
26 Feb 2005, 6:31 AM
Friends anymore? My God, if that was friendship, what horrors lie ahead?
on Untitled by MacFrantic
25 Feb 2005, 6:59 AM
Line 2: sayest is singular, they plural.
Line 3: use "thee" to stay with the old English.
Line 4: the beat is off. Try morn delays.
That's as far as I got. You've got the old (yawn)English voice alright.
Line 3: use "thee" to stay with the old English.
Line 4: the beat is off. Try morn delays.
That's as far as I got. You've got the old (yawn)English voice alright.
on They that do not scream by INTRANSIT
24 Feb 2005, 1:04 PM
Yeah, good point. Ignore the screaming malcontents with their petty little gripes and open the window for the mantis.
on Invisible Wounds by Fearlesfan_04
24 Feb 2005, 8:36 AM
Okay you have wounds, but that's about all it says. Fancy spacing and repetition cannot make it better.
on The End of the Affair by jessicazee
24 Feb 2005, 8:34 AM
Scratch the first line.
Line break after "teeth."
I like this a lot!
Line break after "teeth."
I like this a lot!
on My word, her word, and yours by thepinkbunnyofdoom
24 Feb 2005, 8:19 AM
These coded interactions are interesting for riddle and bravery to risk discovery. Among the angst though are a few good lines - "Fact wrapped around fiction" because it's the opposite of the usual fiction wrapped around fact.
replying on Jack and Jill by Dovina
23 Feb 2005, 9:06 AM
To mystify.
replying on Jack and Jill by Dovina
23 Feb 2005, 7:02 AM
No, I didn't. But I don't see him as a Jack.
on The Runaway by bamf909
22 Feb 2005, 8:07 PM
Yep. Done that. Not bad atol.
replying on Getting Pumped Up to Get Laid by PodPoet
22 Feb 2005, 3:52 PM
I think you need a hug.
replying on Getting Pumped Up to Get Laid by PodPoet
22 Feb 2005, 3:49 PM
They're both correct, but "layed" is less ambiguous.
replying on Getting Pumped Up to Get Laid by PodPoet
22 Feb 2005, 3:21 PM
And dare to delete and retaliate?