on Desert Rain by donmiguel1960
26 Jun 2004, 3:58 PM
The rare rain is a good metaphor for something, and nicely described, but I'm loseing what it is. And who is Miguel Antonio Francis?
on Someday Soon by Drunk Russian Poet
25 Jun 2004, 3:36 PM
A mysterious kinda thing, I won't even say all the interpretations it could have or the problems with them. Let it be for the intuition.
I take your vote and comment here and your co-opting my title for your recent post as retributions, perhaps deserved. You have been with poemranker for a long time and have written some good poems, made a lot of deservedly respected comments, and have generally established yourself here as someone worth listening to. I could say that your Bukowski poem does not follow the generally accepted elements of poetry and therefore give it a 2 or something. But I like what you are saying and would give a ten, as many others have done, whether it tells, shows, or conforms or not. I could say the same for much of your work.
I am new, and you have far less with which to judge me, but apparently it has been enough. I have written âa piece of utter fucking crapâ and I am one of the âstupid, spineless, folk.â I didnât mind that so much and figured it was part of a general rant. Thatâs why I said, âThank you for finding my poem a suitable place to vent your frustrations.â
But your diatribe continued: âHow much thought did you put into this poem? How much have you studied about the craft of writing poetry? If this poem is any measure I would have to assume the answer to both these questions would be 'none'.â âYou are flat out telling me that God has a special Wonderland . . .â âIf you want to write a poem about your faith . . . then it would be far more interesting and touching to show me what in your life has convinced you of this.â These comments are far more cutting than the first.
I responded: âI find it a great comedy that people who devote so much energy to the accurate phrase, the descriptive word, can mire under word-clouds of misunderstanding. The audience reading this will surely laugh as I say that you have totally misunderstood or I have totally mis-written. Sorry to have bothered you.â
From there it only got worse. Iâm not seeking a feigned look of sisterly understanding. I would rather hear your bashing if thatâs what you mean. In that case I will have to decide how to act in a world where a significant fellow voyeur is hostile.
I am new, and you have far less with which to judge me, but apparently it has been enough. I have written âa piece of utter fucking crapâ and I am one of the âstupid, spineless, folk.â I didnât mind that so much and figured it was part of a general rant. Thatâs why I said, âThank you for finding my poem a suitable place to vent your frustrations.â
But your diatribe continued: âHow much thought did you put into this poem? How much have you studied about the craft of writing poetry? If this poem is any measure I would have to assume the answer to both these questions would be 'none'.â âYou are flat out telling me that God has a special Wonderland . . .â âIf you want to write a poem about your faith . . . then it would be far more interesting and touching to show me what in your life has convinced you of this.â These comments are far more cutting than the first.
I responded: âI find it a great comedy that people who devote so much energy to the accurate phrase, the descriptive word, can mire under word-clouds of misunderstanding. The audience reading this will surely laugh as I say that you have totally misunderstood or I have totally mis-written. Sorry to have bothered you.â
From there it only got worse. Iâm not seeking a feigned look of sisterly understanding. I would rather hear your bashing if thatâs what you mean. In that case I will have to decide how to act in a world where a significant fellow voyeur is hostile.
on Absolution by Drunk Russian Poet
25 Jun 2004, 9:29 AM
I take it as a kind of priestly advice for gaining "Absolution" for having committed the perceived sin af adultry, advising the woman to tell her child his breeding. She questions whether to tell, apparently because of guilt feelings. The last verse is provocatively ambiguous because we don't know whether the "ears" are the child's or the world's. Good.
replying on Center Of The Universe by Dovina
24 Jun 2004, 6:05 PM
Good idea, maybe: "If I crush an insomniac word twiddler,"
And end the poem with: "No matter, it was only a poet."
And end the poem with: "No matter, it was only a poet."
on Starting Mode by zenhaircut
24 Jun 2004, 5:54 PM
I'd scratch the first verse.
"Our soles preceed our souls,"
"no longer cold," not needed.
"My freeform flails"
Is your friend really 96 and dancing?
"Our soles preceed our souls,"
"no longer cold," not needed.
"My freeform flails"
Is your friend really 96 and dancing?
on Nihil Obstat by temet_nosce
24 Jun 2004, 5:48 PM
As an addict to writing, I think I understand your position. But it's not clearly stated, even to an addict, therefore probably not to normal people. Zero in on what it is you're most concerned about.
on To A Debaucherous Lover by versus_u
24 Jun 2004, 5:43 PM
Could you say whatever it is a little more simply please.
on Tattooed by DR Limerick
24 Jun 2004, 3:59 PM
Comma after day. Funny, sort of.
on Tommorrow by moonlightdance
24 Jun 2004, 3:56 PM
I love the immediacy of great moments, the throwing off of caution. But I think you have dwelt on it too long in this poem. Brevity seems in order, especially for this topic. Good thoughts.
on The longest day by fair12
24 Jun 2004, 11:55 AM
This has some good lines and a nice flow (except for the first paragraph, which I would scratch) but I wonder what the point is. Am I missing something?
on | Broken Memory | by | Broken |
24 Jun 2004, 9:08 AM
Destiny and fate change nothing! Get real. Look at life squarely and stop making excuses. Don't stop writing poetry though.
on The Hot Job by peaceseeker
24 Jun 2004, 9:06 AM
Dump the bum!!!!
on Someday by moonlightdance
24 Jun 2004, 9:04 AM
You have no choice. Go for it. Just be careful.
replying on The Riddle of Creation by Dovina
24 Jun 2004, 8:39 AM
Then I am the most hopeless person alive.