on Topper Fey by ALChemy
19 Jan 2006, 2:58 PM
Nicely done, and with such a good rhythm that the few lines that break cadence really stand out.
I agree that it’s better not to tell everyone what a poem is about with a title like Racism (and more scholarly too). It’s better to let them figure it out from the story. I did it this way on Poemranker to draw the series together and to build on No. 1. Your point is well taken.
on Spinning, reeling by ecargo
19 Jan 2006, 1:43 PM
Rant on. This war is getting tedious and almost ridiculous even for we who supported it in the beginning.
replying on A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta
19 Jan 2006, 10:26 AM
In Mt.14:26 and Mk.6:49, the word is ΦάνÏαÏμα, phantasma, an appearance or apparition.
on What is it about brothers? by Tara57
19 Jan 2006, 9:51 AM
Overwritten. Try staying a little closer to reality.
on a week off by hendrimike
19 Jan 2006, 9:49 AM
"footprints left for years to come" enigmatically true.
replying on A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta
19 Jan 2006, 9:40 AM
When the Apostle Paul wrote about the Holy Ghost, he was using King James English and a 1620's dictionary, so you are absolutely correct.
on Heirophant by cyan9
18 Jan 2006, 11:36 AM
How about "statuary" instead of "stationary" to give an added meaning?
on The funeral and the table by Caducus
18 Jan 2006, 11:33 AM
"Vicar rejoicing from the sound of his voice" is great, but "in" seems better. "Choking hypocrit" is telling us what has already been better shown.
on A flightless deer by Enkidu
18 Jan 2006, 11:27 AM
The repeats add little, I think. The idea is good, but needs refinement.
on Is Dying Ugly? by D. $ Fontera
18 Jan 2006, 11:22 AM
The concluding lines don't make sense.
on A comedian at nearly midnight by MacFrantic
18 Jan 2006, 11:20 AM
Good story, put the presentation needs work.
on Pain, I Curse Thee by woodstock20000
18 Jan 2006, 11:13 AM
I think you should tell us what kind of pain you are talking about.