on European Pentameter by bondjedi
1 Dec 2002, 10:58 AM
The last line is brilliant.
on Ode to the unwanted chip by deadstar
14 Nov 2002, 11:54 AM
No insulting McCain! He lived a bare hour's away from here and is one of the prides of the province, by Gad.
By the way, this isn't TO the chip. It's BY the chip. Change the title to 'The Unwanted Chip's Ode' or something like that.
By the way, this isn't TO the chip. It's BY the chip. Change the title to 'The Unwanted Chip's Ode' or something like that.
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 6:16 PM
I truly, truly, truly hope that legions of dead alchemists haunt at night. You deserve that and more.
on some deleted poem
12 Dec 2002, 9:10 PM
Brava, signorina, brava. Perdona le mio atroce Italiano, te pregha, non so perche io le parla, mah bah. Though I might mentio nthat 'sapphire' has two 'p's, just because I'm a pedant.
on some deleted poem
11 Dec 2002, 7:13 PM
Hmmm... how many times did I comment on the original fifteen versions of this again? It's much clearer than some of the drafts, but I think it might have lost some of its punch, especially in the last two stanzas. I still think that the 'Wait/It was not as bad' part worked better when it was broken in three or four lines. Still, it's good.
on some deleted poem
11 Dec 2002, 7:15 PM
Bravo. You know the works well.
on some deleted poem
11 Dec 2002, 5:56 PM
Meraviglioso, la musica de le tue parole al fine.
on Once upon a Christmas Eve by exoticwriter
29 Nov 2002, 7:23 PM
It would be funnier if it happened on Halloween. And isn't pride the gravest of the Seven Deadlies? Are you advocating SIN? Get away from me! Drop on your knees and PRAY, you terrible, terrible thing!
on some deleted poem
27 Nov 2002, 6:11 AM
Please tell me the shocks are all sarcastic.
on Lifted from a song- gang bang by UAFANTHORPEY
27 Nov 2002, 6:20 AM
What's the song, 'On top of Old Smokey'?
on some deleted poem
14 Nov 2002, 11:58 AM
Ah. Much much better. Except the end, I rather liked the lines breaks at 'Wait.../It was not etc'. And I'd liek it better either if you put 'of every dagger' on a separate line or got rid of the trees. But still, far better. The replacement of the 'Fuck' with the 'goodnight kiss' is good.
on some deleted poem
14 Nov 2002, 11:52 AM
Unless you want vicious perverts of my sort to mock you into an early grave, spell 'ahead' correctly in the last line.
on The Wooden Armchair Of Similar Dreams by Caducus
14 Nov 2002, 11:55 AM
I can't help it. Generally, when I see the word 'Crocodile' in a poem, I expect to be amused. You actually managed to use them well. Bravo.
on The Slanty Shanty by Quarton
1 Dec 2002, 10:57 AM
Slighty too long.
on Europeans shouldn't mess with Ronald McDonald because one day he will rule their pathetic "continent" by bondjedi
11 Dec 2002, 6:08 PM
Snails are interesting. One should try them at least once in one's life. But I confess one couldn't take too much at a time. Sort of like snake.
on Sent from Above by Sugarbbybuttrfly
29 Nov 2002, 7:20 PM
Wow, avoided to actually use the word 'angel'. You get a point for that.