on some deleted poem
31 Dec 2002, 10:10 PM
I have a slight problem with this: it tells us nothing we didn't know already,
on some deleted poem
20 Jan 2003, 4:56 AM
Ah. Yes. As you said, better. Still and again, change line 6. Liked your idea for it -- the name should be a two syllable one, that line really needs eleven feet as opposed to the niine it has. It really breaks the flow as it is. But then you know that...
on Haffner's Mill by powerline
31 Dec 2002, 10:17 PM
Nice idea, badly done.
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2003, 7:10 PM
I'd really rather not.
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2003, 8:14 PM
Zephyr seems out of place, but giving Eden moors makes up for it.
on Listen For Once by Sarahmarie
21 Jan 2003, 7:42 PM
Why am I so happy I decided to get a glass of Scotch before coming on here?
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2003, 8:25 PM
As you've been told before, never forget Verlaine's words -- 'One says sodoMITE, Your Honour'. The last two lines of the penultimate stanza don't work.
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2003, 8:10 PM
You must have edited this since last I spoke on it. Still something of a pity about the angels, but speaking of 'charred angels' is magnificent.
on An Anthem for Peace by dougsoderstrom
21 Jan 2003, 10:36 AM
For God's sake, man -- no matter how admirable the sentiment may be, even as rhetoric this is godawful
The poem is quite good. However, get off your damn guilt trip about the fact that we heved and fought our way to the top of the pile. Do you really think that is the sabre-toothed tiger had come to take over the world instead of us, they'd really try and treat us well? Dammit, they lost. And we won. Too bad for them. Now serve me my steak -- rare, please.
on some deleted poem
20 Jan 2003, 8:51 PM
'The sky, rebelling against its native blue/Turns Confederate' is one of the most wonderful ways of describing a grey sky I've ever seen -- though you'd have to be American or have a knowledge of the civil war to get it. I'm not too sure about the rest, though.
on some deleted poem
20 Jan 2003, 4:48 AM
Dare I ask what about Ethiopian cuisine makes you go hmm?
on some deleted poem
16 Jan 2003, 8:55 AM
Damn. There we go writing the same thing again. How is it that we both put up a poem involving little Red Riding Hood at the time?
All that aside, this is quite damn good.
All that aside, this is quite damn good.
on Perversions 3: Payback by razorgrin
15 Jan 2003, 10:08 AM
You are a sick sick sick little girl. On the other hand, as we all know, that's why I loves you. I don't think this is my favourite set, but lovely nonetheless. (Well... lovely... you know what I mean.)
on One by adrenalize
14 Jan 2003, 7:37 PM
Oh shut up.
on some deleted poem
14 Jan 2003, 7:40 PM
Get rid of the exclamation mark. Otherwise lovely.
on some deleted poem
14 Jan 2003, 7:41 PM
You keep writing things I wish I'd written. Stop it, damn you. Again, shades upon shades of Guillevic.
on some deleted poem
31 Dec 2002, 10:11 PM
Except for the bit about you. Which I highly, highly doubt.
on Dr. Skellington by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
20 Jan 2003, 5:07 AM
Indeed. Excellent. Full prawnes ahead, I say!
on some deleted poem
16 Jan 2003, 11:03 AM
You're -=Dark_Angel=- playing a joke on us, aren't you? Aren't you?