on some deleted poem
28 Oct 2004, 8:04 PM
Cut out the adjectives and see what it gives. Alternately, toss out the dictionary.
on some deleted poem
5 May 2004, 9:16 PM
Dear god -- the roses are already dead in your part of the world? They're only just starting to grow leaves here...
I'm not sure about the last line, though I can't put my finger on the reason why. It may be because it rhymes with 'face' and there is no other rhyming involved (unless you count the dying and drying, which is a bit far-reaching for a rhyme).
I'm not sure about the last line, though I can't put my finger on the reason why. It may be because it rhymes with 'face' and there is no other rhyming involved (unless you count the dying and drying, which is a bit far-reaching for a rhyme).
on some deleted poem
12 May 2004, 8:19 PM
Yawn.
on I Can't Wait Till Christmas Day Resubmission by Teen14
20 May 2004, 7:01 PM
Gadzooks. Beyond commentary.
on I cannot take this shit(please comment and critique) by TrulyUnique0642
20 May 2004, 7:04 PM
Let me assure you that it is much kinder if I neither comment nor critique.
on Fugly by Freethinker1602
20 May 2004, 7:05 PM
'Sblood. 'Tis terrible.
on Vic, so Bitter by mogwai
4 Sep 2004, 11:28 AM
One thing -- there is no need for punctuating the end of every line.
on rock me to sleep tonight: by Sapphire
4 Sep 2004, 11:30 AM
I want to like it. I really do. But there's something about it I can't put my finger on that leaves it just short of what it could be.
P.S.: CymbAl. Please.
P.S.: CymbAl. Please.
on some deleted poem
5 Sep 2004, 9:42 AM
Suddenly I remember why I haven't been here in a while...
on Heaven vs. Hell by angel born in hell
13 Sep 2004, 2:25 PM
Suddenly I remember why rhyming fell into disrepute. But hey, unless you've died before, how d'you know that death's not worse?
on For you by Montinequego
13 Sep 2004, 2:38 PM
Mediocrity code: 0070C021
on Sleep of Death by necroscope7
13 Sep 2004, 2:39 PM
Mediocrity code: 0070F000
on A Vision of Dark Desire by crims0ngh0st
13 Sep 2004, 2:41 PM
Naughty naughty.
on some deleted poem
13 Sep 2004, 2:43 PM
Mediocrity code: 11F01001
on Jarooomeee by klosterfobik
19 Sep 2004, 6:09 PM
This is without a doubt the most blatant case of idiotic self-voting I have yet seen. As a poem, this fails for a simple reason: if you start off with a rhyming quatrain, you should not round it off with three unrhyming verses even more lacking in rhythmic distinction than the first four.
on A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus
24 Sep 2004, 5:39 PM
For some reason I can't bring myself to think the last stanza fits. Though I love the 'Kissed her lips on the ashes of blossom'. For some reason it doesn't seem to work rhythmically. Also, while the whole wheel of time moving around, as was done before so shall be done again, etc theme works (i.e. you kissing your lover where your parents kissed etc.), it seems a touch clichéd. It makes me think too much of 'Songs my Mother Taught Me' in that respect.
There's also the fact that I sort of would have liked it if you'd found a way of ending it without bringing yourself into play. 8 for now because I'm a miserable shite and the score's high enough as it is already.
There's also the fact that I sort of would have liked it if you'd found a way of ending it without bringing yourself into play. 8 for now because I'm a miserable shite and the score's high enough as it is already.
on I'll Take You In My Arms by ilovecars131
6 Oct 2004, 5:59 PM
Mediocrity Code: 8174F121
on some deleted poem
28 Oct 2004, 8:03 PM
But your possibilities will be so much wider if you're NOT following God's rules. Just think: for starters, you'll be allowed to vary the positions.