on Safe Distance, 10-10-02 by Frass
18 Oct 2002, 1:51 PM
The ending is bad. Perhaps he doesn't know. Perhaps your justice won't find him. And perhaps he doesn't hate anyone. It could always just be target practice. Or fun. Or something.
on Dilemma of a Crip by Ninoy_Instigator
18 Oct 2002, 1:49 PM
'Towards Crips, people have anger' is tripe. Tripe tripe tripe tripe tripe. Now tripe, when well-cooked with salt, pepper, and a little oregano, can be good enough. In this case, it's raw. It doesn't fit the rest -- which isn't very good either. No feeling of dilemma whatsoever. Blah.
on realities <from above their brilliance is short-lived> by royalflesh
18 Oct 2002, 1:43 PM
I'm assuming that's 'infinities, third stanza from the end line 1. His girlfriend should have a better name than mirrorgirl.
on purple and black gangstaz theme tune by rosiebailey
18 Oct 2002, 1:24 PM
Margaret Thatcher as a rapper. That is the greatest thing done to her since they made her appear as Public Opinion in Offenbach's 'Orpheus in the Underworld'.
on The ballad of woosie by rosiebailey
18 Oct 2002, 1:21 PM
Hmm, actually, the squirrel one is about the only one I don't like. This is seriously silly, which is good.
on casting couch by darby pyn
17 Oct 2002, 8:52 PM
This truly sounds as if you wrote a rhyming affair and then stuck it in a mass of enjambments so that either we wouldn't notice or if we did we'd think it was modern genius. Are you sure it wouldn't work better in the original line breaking?
on FHjk by Dark Angle
17 Oct 2002, 8:50 PM
This is either sheer genius or sheer idiocy. I really can't decide which.
on First Kiss... by loneshadow29
17 Oct 2002, 8:45 PM
Very tritely put.
replying on On a chill morning by razorgrin
17 Oct 2002, 1:45 PM
I stand by my opinion. And sweetheart, for your pebble-throwing to have any effect, I'd have to be there, asleep. And care. And we know how rare that is. If you break the window you get to pay for it and I'll do horrible things to you. If we're not allowed to mention what we consider a slight bump in your work... Come now, dearie, as if you wouldn't mention a bump in ours if it really jumped at you.
on On the Swings by Christof
17 Oct 2002, 8:07 AM
Hee hee hee.
replying on On a chill morning by razorgrin
17 Oct 2002, 7:48 AM
All we're saying is that it seems disjointed. If the word 'drive' were changed to 'go' or some other one-syllable word saying the same thing, I believe it would work better.
on Why Did God Do This To Me? by TripleHGurl
16 Oct 2002, 7:04 PM
Maybe he did it so you'd stop whining. Apparently it failed. I wonder what he'll find next...
on unlucky by rosiebailey
16 Oct 2002, 7:03 PM
This vaguely reminds me of an opposite version of Ogden Nash's 'Adventures of Isabel' (if that's what it's called, can't quite recall). Maybe it's the bear.
on Thanksgiving Dream Sequence by Venus
16 Oct 2002, 6:37 PM
Hee hee.
on ~*Broken Soul*~ by Katie
16 Oct 2002, 6:15 PM
Giveme one single, good, understandable and worthwhile argument for the addition of those ridiculous tildes and asterixes in the title. Just one.
replying on On a chill morning by razorgrin
16 Oct 2002, 6:05 PM
It's inexistent, if she's driving her bike, scooter, broom out of the door. She appears to be levelling her eyes on his and suddenly zooming off, with no transistion. Maybe it'S just that Limonade and I know the house in question, and that driving out the door on bike, scooter, broom, whatever would be a tad difficult. It just doesn't quite seem to fit. We're picky.
on The Way It Is by Tascobar
16 Oct 2002, 11:20 AM
'Spoken without thought'? My foot. If it's spoken without thought, then it's not a taunt. It's a spoken thought. Taunts are thought up and used deliberatly. Like what I'm saying now.