replying on One liners for the ladies by INTRANSIT
21 Oct 2002, 10:19 AM
'Ethnic monorities' are the ame as 'ethnic moronities', sir.
on angel by little_angel_maria
21 Oct 2002, 10:10 AM
These works of yours really would read much better as songs than as poems, somehow.
on Strong by little_angel_maria
21 Oct 2002, 10:05 AM
Can we discriminate against Asians? And don't forget that your dear friend blade will want to drink your blood. I fail to see how you will stop me from being rude, saying your poems are crap (this one actually seems a bit better than the others. Would almost make an amusing song, with some work), or killing America.
on The generosity of others. by darby pyn
21 Oct 2002, 10:01 AM
'Hang the messenger' is excellent. Nice twist on the normal phrase.
on Unadorned by w~* ATHENA *~w
21 Oct 2002, 9:52 AM
Hee hee, silent voices... That's even funnier than my bird with lips.
on THE MISSING HEART by Prince of Void
21 Oct 2002, 9:51 AM
OUCH, I THINK I MUST BE DEAF. THIS ISN'T A SONNET, BY THE WAY. A SONNET HAS FOURTEEN LINES AND RHYMES. SORRY TO DISSAPOINT YOU. HERAT HAS INDEED BEEN MISSING FOR A LONG TIME. 'TRON'? 'RESTTING'? 'REYS'? 'BEYS'? WHAT DO ALGERIAN RULERS HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?
on Why Did God Do This To Me? by TripleHGurl
20 Oct 2002, 6:41 PM
The more I read this, the more I notice the heresy inherent in it. Daring to claim God made a mistake... Daring to think that people only are taken by God if they agree to, which negates the full glory of the All-Mighty Baker of the World (who apparently left the ktichen for a moment and didn't realise he burnt the cake). By your own beliefs, God can do nothing he shouldn't do; the ways of God pass our understanding, as they say, and we must accept them all. You, girl, have the sheer GALL to question God'S might and Power, and Infinite Justice??? On your knees, girl, on your knees, and pray that ye be purged of the sickest sin of Pride, that Pride which led to Lucifer's own Fall, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I'm sure you can get your preacher to fill in the rest with a nice little sermon on the evils of pride.
on Unpleasant Morning by liljsmith87
19 Oct 2002, 7:20 PM
When I first saw this, for a second I thought it said 'Got up this morning,/Killed the cat...' It might be even funnier if you wrote a poem starting like that.
Department of Guardian Angels
Cloud 6
Heaven
Dear LIL ZAY:
We're afraid that your angel met with an accident; he was run over by a cement truck while sneaking away from you to go urinate. Unfortunately, we're rather understaffed right now, so it will be some time before we can get around to helping you. In fact, we may not be able to. We did ask for volunteers, but though one showed up, your obnoxious use of capitals turned him off -- he's rather delicate ears and didn't want to be yelled at all day. You could always ask the Devil -- he's rather a decent fellow if you ask the right way.
Regretfully,
Saint Gabriel Archangel
Spokesperson for God
Department of Guardian Angels
Cloud 6
Heaven.
Cloud 6
Heaven
Dear LIL ZAY:
We're afraid that your angel met with an accident; he was run over by a cement truck while sneaking away from you to go urinate. Unfortunately, we're rather understaffed right now, so it will be some time before we can get around to helping you. In fact, we may not be able to. We did ask for volunteers, but though one showed up, your obnoxious use of capitals turned him off -- he's rather delicate ears and didn't want to be yelled at all day. You could always ask the Devil -- he's rather a decent fellow if you ask the right way.
Regretfully,
Saint Gabriel Archangel
Spokesperson for God
Department of Guardian Angels
Cloud 6
Heaven.
on Remember-me (an ode to those dropped off at the clinic) by Bachus
19 Oct 2002, 7:10 PM
The P.S. is a letdown. You could have done better than that.
on Can't See by ThoughtfulSoul
19 Oct 2002, 6:54 PM
God's laughing at you. So am I.
on I am free by blueclouds
19 Oct 2002, 6:25 PM
I am yawning
on Walk in a dream (an ode to self help poems) by Bachus
19 Oct 2002, 6:24 PM
I confess I really like the ending. Cheers indeed.
on Bowstones, 21st June 200 by Nicholas Jones
19 Oct 2002, 6:23 PM
21st June 200? My GOD you're an antique. I didn't know they had buses back then...
on Death's Awaiting by The_Shadows_Smile
19 Oct 2002, 7:17 AM
God help us all! Vermillion lives!
replying on Ghetto Symphony by anonymous
18 Oct 2002, 3:51 PM
Sonata-allegro is the basic form of the first movement of a Classical symphony, that's all. It basically goes: Introduction (if you want), Theme A, transition to Theme B, Theme B, then the Development, in which you play around with these two themes, and then the recapitulation, in which Theme A is played again, generally in a different key. You can then add a Coda if you want. Poems written like that are fun and far too rare.
on Ghetto Symphony by anonymous
18 Oct 2002, 2:49 PM
Not bad as a series of musical images. Don't know if you tried to put the poem in sonata-allegro form -- it sounds like that a little, but if so it needs work.
on You Can Count On Friends by Ojiboch
18 Oct 2002, 1:57 PM
Change it around, fer gawd's sake: make your best friend be fear. Then write a poem about that. It could even be amusing.