on Lonely Hearts by Stephen Robins
17 Feb 2007, 1:44 PM
Sounds like flarf from any officecomputer. You can do better: so do better.
on Out alone in the winter rain by Prince of Void
9 Feb 2007, 3:23 AM
Saw a film about John Callahan, the cartoonist. He writes beautiful songs too - he's also a very good cure for the inflatable kind of self-pity you're exposing here.
on Stopped Cold by coldiron
9 Feb 2007, 3:11 AM
This is very good. Reminded me of the time I was in Chios, made a trip to sit on Homerâs stone. Great view there (closed my eyes, tried to hear some sirens singing - only nagging kids, a mother yelling. The sea).
on Alternatives by Dovina
28 Jan 2007, 1:53 PM
The de-baathification, forcing their armed forces to go underground, was an incredibly stupid move - you really think them with the math can heal that kind of stupidity? Use a guy like Rumsfeld as guinea pig, see what happens.
replying on Body Worlds by Dental Panic
28 Jan 2007, 1:17 PM
Thanks for your comment. Outcreeping the creep, that's the trick indeed.
replying on Body Worlds by Dental Panic
21 Jan 2007, 7:40 AM
Thanks. She did. And her little touch of necrofilia turned me on a bit. But Iâm afraid that Gunther, should he agree, would have us in some funny position, like looking up surprised or something equally stupid.
You know, his factory processes 3000 bodies a year â thatâs 8,2 body a day.
You know, his factory processes 3000 bodies a year â thatâs 8,2 body a day.
replying on Body Worlds by Dental Panic
21 Jan 2007, 7:38 AM
Well, after careful consideration Iâve decided to keep it. I like the pause â instead, Iâll change âwaitingâ into âwantingâ. Thanks for the reply.
replying on almost 12.30 by Dental Panic
19 Jan 2007, 6:02 PM
I was thinking about a reply to ecargo, but you took the words right out of my mouth.
on Brinkmanshit by Stephen Robins
11 Jan 2007, 1:49 PM
To be printed as a prayer for redemption in a rest-home - imagine spending the last years of your life being constipated: it's one of the hidden tragedies of humanity.
Anyway, here's a link:
http://goodlooguide.freeservers.com/
Anyway, here's a link:
http://goodlooguide.freeservers.com/
on Asbestosis by Stephen Robins
11 Jan 2007, 1:40 PM
Good title. And a good read.
You could loose one 'school' in the last stanza, I think.
You could loose one 'school' in the last stanza, I think.
on The Willy Poem by Engelbert Humpalot
2 Nov 2006, 3:09 PM
Hump more.
on Jesus Around Your Neck (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20
2 Nov 2006, 3:04 PM
Final Version - that made me laugh. But then again, it's not a poem. It's a sermon. Put on a purple robe and tell them hypocrites!
on Still by half.italian
2 Nov 2006, 2:58 PM
I don't care about your memories, I don't care about your taste, I don't care about your poem and I don't care about the explanation you gave - you're explaining your feelings. I don't care about your feelings. Being vague isn't poetic, it's boring, most of the time.
on The Hunter, the Hunted, and the Bystander by Dovina
2 Nov 2006, 2:44 PM
the image of a tire like a tiger's mouth doesn't work over here. Also the word 'guilty' is overdone. You shouldn't mention guilt - guilt works better that way, I think.
replying on Poem for Mahmuth by Dental Panic
2 Nov 2006, 2:28 PM
'like a patient etherized upon a table', how does that work for you?
replying on Poem for Mahmuth by Dental Panic
2 Nov 2006, 2:25 PM
Sadder wiser urgh? Yeah, maybe. I forced it in there, to make sure she wasn't happy. Still, it comes close to what I noticed there. I never make things up.
I'll see about the enjambment. Thanks for the comment.
I'll see about the enjambment. Thanks for the comment.
replying on Poem for Mahmuth by Dental Panic
2 Nov 2006, 2:19 PM
Thanks for the comment. Nondescript, that's reflecting the mood pretty accurate, I guess.
on Coventry nights by Caducus
16 Mar 2006, 8:52 AM
Unlike the sepukku from you previous post, here the Chinese font makes sense to me.
It should be longer, though. The ending comes a bit too soon, I think.
It should be longer, though. The ending comes a bit too soon, I think.
on Endless Battle by rahson_s
16 Mar 2006, 8:06 AM
Writing about writing - it must be fucking good to be at least a bit interesting.